I’ve been finding
New ways
And it’s scaring me
So much,
For I can harm myself
In more ways than
I ever knew before;
I’m so afraid
Of myself now.
These new ways
To hurt
Are scaring me
So bad
Because I don’t know
How to contain... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I’ve been finding
New ways
And it’s scaring me
So much,
For I can harm myself
In more ways than
I ever knew before;
I’m so afraid
Of myself now.
These new ways
To hurt
Are scaring me
So bad
Because I don’t know
How to contain... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
| Rating
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I drive away
The pain
With every stroke
Of my
Soothing instrument;
I comfort my misery
With each time
I drag that
Coping skill
Across my waiting skin.
I satisfy my hunger
For blood
With every time
I score that
Gleaming object
... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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The me I once knew
Is gone,
Betrayed by the world,
So she left the earth
To take her place
In the sky.
The me I once knew
Is empty,
For others stole her heart
And gave it back
With pieces missing
And showing the darkness
That was... – by Gracie Miller | 7 Views added 1 year ago
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I am no longer harming
And I’m so proud
Yet I'm still regretting it
At the same time.
Back in my early,
Dark and depressing days,
I'd be down that twisted road
Of addiction.
So
As a disclaimer to myself,
I know now that
Even though at... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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Why would they
Do this to me?
I want to scream at them.
Desperately asking
Why they would dare
Take away my only means
Of relief
When I need it... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I can’t wait
Until it’ll
Finally get better.
I certainly can’t
Bear to wait
Until the day when
I’m finally able
To live on each day
Without feeling
The sickening urges
To hurt myself.
I’m longing for
That day when
I’m able at last
... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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The innocent
Little souls
Of this world
Have gone rogue.
They’ve fallen
To the mind tricks of society
And now they’re lost
And shattered,
Broken and abused by society.
They have been stained
With the marks
Of this brutal world,
... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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I am afraid
And I am awful
For thinking up things
Like the nightmarish stories
In my stupid head.
But
What would become of me
If a nightmare
I wake up from
Were to actually come true?
What would I do?
Could I fight back
With all my... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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I shudder
As my mouth becomes dry
While my stomach
Twists and churns.
My own skin is unsafe to me,
For it could result
In horrible,
Unwanted things.
You don’t want
To go there,
Not where I was
In my younger days.
You don’t want to... – by Gracie Miller | 0 Views added 1 year ago
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I’m sitting with
My friends
And I’m surrounded by
People I care about,
So why do I feel
So lonely here?
I’m with my friends as we're
Walking down the halls together,
Laughing and chatting,
So why do I still feel
So lonely here?
I’m... – by Gracie Miller | 16 Views added 1 year ago
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You know,
I’m stuck here all alone
In this fight with myself,
With those I love
Already moving on.
You know,
I’m stuck here all alone,
In my aching misery
And longing
To see someone I no longer
Know or recognize.
You know,
I’m stuck... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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Yes,
I do hate how warm
I get in the summer
But you've got to
Understand my reasonings.
I’ve been tormented
With skin
And laughter
And horrific tricks with no treats
To accompany them,
So you’ve got to understand
How awful this is... – by Gracie Miller | 0 Views added 1 year ago
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I can no longer see
Most of them as good,
Kind-hearted
Human beings,
For my definition of them
Has been smashed
Into a million shards.
I can no longer see
Most of them as decent,
For now I believe them
To be
Evil,
Wicked,
Sick,
... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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I want to shout
For my past to
Get away from me
And just leave me alone,
For I am stressing
Every day
And it's all my past's fault.
Anxiety freezes me
Into slow motion,
Making it so hard
To breathe,
For my past just
Won’t stay away.
... – by Gracie Miller | 6 Views added 1 year ago
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I ask myself
Why I should care anymore
About my future,
My health,
My appearance,
My life,
When nothing
Is going right anymore.
I realize
I don't know the... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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Truthfully though,
I know I need
To accept
How things are
And move on,
But I’m actually
Actively dying inside
Since I can’t find
A remedy for this pain.
I’ve begged
And I’ve hoped
But nothing
Seems to work.
For now I’m just
Stuck... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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I plead in my head
For them to stop
As a male hugs me
Or rests their hand
On my shoulder
Or gives me a high-five
Or something,
Tensing up in
Fictional apprehension
As if they’ll end up
Violating me.
I should know they probably won’t,
... – by Gracie Miller | 0 Views added 1 year ago
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I'm given
So much anxiety,
For I can see
The due date
Catching up to me
On all this homework
I've yet to do.
I’ve got so many projects
Piled up on my to-do list
And I don’t even know
Where to start.
I panic and procrastinate
Until... – by Gracie Miller | 151 Views added 1 year ago
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I want to hurt
And kill myself
Once again,
But I’m so
Unable to
Because of the
Promises I made
And now regret
So much.
Here we go again
While I feel weak
If I ever cry,
While I stuff everything
Down beneath.
All day I act like
... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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Why
Do others always think
They know more about me
Than I do?
Why
Do others always think
They’re more intelligent
Than me about myself?
Why
Can’t I just be
Happy for once?
It’s driving me
Completely... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I smiled with confidence
So you wouldn't notice
How weak it really was.
I laughed a lot
So you wouldn’t notice
That I was forcing it.
I wore bright colors
So you wouldn't notice
How black my heart was.
I wore glasses
So you wouldn't see... – by Gracie Miller | 0 Views added 1 year ago
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My past
Haunts me
While my presence
Betrays me.
My future
Hides from me
And all
Seems dark to... – by Gracie Miller | 0 Views added 1 year ago
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We are survivors.
We have scars that we
Will never show.
We have wounds that
Will heal in time.
We have been
Beaten up
And broken down
And told we were
Just nothing.
But in the end,
We are survivors;
We have fought
For our lives
And... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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I never wanted
To start self-harming,
But once I started,
There was no
Going back.
Now I’ve stopped
But I still feel
The desperate need
To do it again;
I miss it
So much sometimes.
I miss the sting,
The pain,
The bumps
On my... – by Gracie Miller | 0 Views added 1 year ago
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It’s not okay,
All this hate
And bullying.
It’s not okay
But no one seems
To do anything about it.
I don’t understand
And it’s not fair,
For so many
Are suffering
And school just
Makes it worse.
All hope for humanity
And the... – by Gracie Miller | 8 Views added 1 year ago
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What do I do now?
I’m feeling so awful,
So despaired,
So hopeless,
So helpless,
And I can’t
Be okay anymore
Right now.
I don’t want
To hide things,
But I just don’t know
What to do anymore.
I just don’t want
To end up like
I did... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I can still
Remember those days
Where kids were normal kids
And everything made sense,
At least for a little while.
But then I grew up,
Getting older
And older
In my mind
From all the awful knowledge
Contained inside
Learning things I... – by Gracie Miller | 0 Views added 1 year ago
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I want to cry
So much.
I want to weep
Until I can’t
Breathe anymore,
For whenever
I look around,
All I see
Is a broken,
Messed-up world.
What have we become?
This is not who God
Made us to be;
We are not just
Some wandering... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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We ask
Why
With heavy hearts
As we look
In the newspaper
Or watch the news on TV
And all we see
Is a tragedy
Or a
Real-life horror story.
Abuse,
Neglect,
Deaths,
Violence,
Crime,
Murder,
Theft,
Assault,
Shooting,
Kidnapping,
... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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We don't deserve
Anything good,
For we are
A wicked mess of horrible
Capabilities.
Just look at us,
The terrible beings we are,
And just look at all
We say and do.
We kill our people,
Our own kind.
We kill innocent creatures
Just for... – by Gracie Miller | 0 Views added 1 year ago
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My view of humans
Is a zero-star rating
For sure,
For we possess an ability
To be unspeakably
Brutal
And cruel
And evil
And wicked.
We are certainly
Not life,
For we are death itself,
Destroying everything
That irritates
And... – by Gracie Miller | 8 Views added 1 year ago
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I wish your threat,
If you had made it
At all to me
Had really come true.
I wish I had refused,
When you wanted me
To find out
How families grow
And how babies
Are made;
I wish I had refused.
I wish you really actually
Had made good
... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
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How would you react
If your life was
Turned upside down
So suddenly at
Such a young age,
Only to find that
Your so-called kid assaulter
Is still near you
After so many years?
He’s still here,
But have I seen him
Before recently?
I... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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I wish I could go back
To that one
Fateful day again
And unmake the mistake
That left me
A million miles away
From the me
I once knew.
I wish I hadn’t let you
Do the things
You did to me.
I wish I had refused
So my life might’ve... – by Gracie Miller | 0 Views added 1 year ago
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I hate this constant sick feeling
In the pit
Of my stomach.
I want to cry out
All my pain
Until it goes away
But I can’t
Because I'm... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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Dripping,
Pouring.
Flowing,
Puddling.
Pooling
And becoming
Part of me.
Staining me
And making me wish
It would flow relentlessly
Until I’m... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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Go on
And make me feel pain,
Go on
Because I’m in need
Of so much pain.
Go on
Because I need this pain
As a distraction.
Go on
Because I’m numb
To it anyways.
Go on
And hurt me
And kill me
And insult me
Because I don’t want
To... – by Gracie Miller | 0 Views added 1 year ago
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I cut again
With the door closed,
But you opened the door
And caught me off guard.
So,
you finally caught me
In the act of cutting,
And now you want me
To stop immediately,
But you don’t know that
It’s become my... – by Gracie Miller | 0 Views added 1 year ago
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I cut
Because my depression
Tells me to
In order to balance out
My internal pain,
But as soon as the
Blood appears
I start to panic,
Freaking out
And wanting the blood to
Stop flowing.
The newly opened cuts
Sting for days,
But... – by Gracie Miller | 0 Views added 1 year ago
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I’m tired
Of pretending to be
Okay,
Of acting like I’m
Fine,
Of holding in my
Tears.
I’m tired
Of fighting to stay
Alive,
Of trying to
Convince myself that it’ll get
Better,
Of lying to you
By saying I’m
Alright.
I’m so... – by Gracie Miller | 6 Views added 1 year ago
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I cut
Deeper and deeper
And longer and longer
Until blood pours
From my cuts,
Slowly but steadily.
More and more appear
To form a river of blood.
Red,
Dripping,
Flowing.
My heart and mind
Are no longer
The only things
Consisting of a... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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I was crying and
Freaking out when
My anxiety was
Taking control of me.
You didn’t want me
To stay home by myself
Because you’ve learned not
To trust me
After I’ve broken promises not
To harm myself.
I just decided
To deal with it
... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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I’m sorry
But it wasn’t possible.
I’m scratching again,
Letting my skin
Become broken and disturbed
Until blood slowly
Trickles out of my
New wounds.
I’m sorry
I broke the promise.
I wish I hadn’t
But I desperately
Need this pain
So... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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You asked me what I thought I
Needed that I wasn’t getting.
I wondered briefly
If you thought I was self-harming
Just to get attention.
Your voice became more brisk
As you went on,
Saying that it was
My choice to get help
Or not try.
... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
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There’s an ache
In my heart,
Heavy with the weight
Of my feelings.
I want to
Break up with you
But I don’t want to
Hurt you.
This isn’t working
For me;
I can’t handle this.
I want to be happy
With you
But I don’t think we’re
... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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I told you
And I knew you wouldn’t
Understand my pain.
I told you
And you said
It didn’t make sense,
Just like I knew
It wouldn’t,
At least not to... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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Oh no.
You weren’t
Supposed to know,
But if I
Tell you now,
You’ll try and stop me
From intentionally hurting myself.
You don’t understand
That I really
Need this pain,
This physical pain,
To balance out
My internal pain.
Oh no.
... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
| Rating
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I feel so unmotivated,
I feel so lazy.
I don’t want
To be productive,
But I know that
I’ve got loads of things to do.
I’ve got homework
And chores to do,
But I feel so lazy
And unproductive today.
I just want
To sit back and relax,
... – by Gracie Miller | 7 Views added 1 year ago
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To them,
To all the lost
And broken
And grieving.
To all who have suffered,
To all who are suffering,
You are not... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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When you come home,
I won’t cry again.
When you come home,
I’ll leave all of this behind.
When you come home,
I’ll hide my tears and sorrow.
When you come home,
I won’t miss you so much anymore.
When you come home,
My heart will be lighter... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
I’m sorry I’m not
Trying hard enough
To keep... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
Dear my beloved brother,
I miss you so much
And I wish you
Were here with me.
Dear my beloved brother,
It’s been a few months
Since I’ve seen your face
And my sorrow continues
To drag me down.
Dear my beloved brother,
I love you so much... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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This isn’t fair
And I want you here.
I miss you terribly
But we’re separated.
This isn’t fair
And all of this is stupid,
This mess we’re in.
I’m sorry I put all of us
Through this darkness.
I long to see you again
This isn’t fair.
What... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
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It’s been so long since
I’ve seen your face.
I've miss you so much
Since that fateful day
When you were
Taken away.
Life’s been
A terrible mess.
I wish you were here,
Joking around with me.
I want you here so badly
But we’re worlds... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
| Rating
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This mess is my fault
And I’m sorry I
Messed up all our lives.
Seeing you cry
Used to be rare,
But now,
Seeing you cry is almost
A daily part of my life.
A sob wells in my throat,
My chest starts to ache,
My eyes start to water,
With... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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I hear your tired voice;
I hear your arguing
And shouting.
I hear your voice.
Cringing and crying
And dying inside
And knowing that
It’s my fault,
I feel so guilty.
I put all of us
Through this mess,
Through this time of
Confusion... – by Gracie Miller | 6 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
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I brace myself
For the oncoming pain.
I hear the many rips
Of my hair yanking out,
One by one.
I stare for a moment
At the bunch of hair
In my hand,
My eyes watering from
The expected pain.
I feel the throbbing
Of my head,
Deprived of... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
I wish you
Were different
So it could be easier to
Love you like I should.
I feel so tired;
It’s almost like I’m stuck
Pretending to love you.
It’s getting tiring,
Having to nearly
Fake my love for you.
I wish you
Were different
So... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
I sigh quietly in relief
When I rush
Toward my house
And open the door
To my sanctuary,
Away from the noise
And the stress
Of the real,
Cruel world.
My home is my sanctuary;
My refuge is my home.
Home is my shelter
Where I can be,
... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
I
Can’t
Do
This
Anymore.
L-o-n-e-l-y,
M-i-s-e-r-y.
D-e-a-t-h
Can
You
Please
Take
Me
Away
F-o-r-e-v-e-r.
I’m
F
A
L
L
L
I
N
G,
S-l-i-p-p-i-n-g
Off
The
Edge.
H-e-l-p
M-e.
Please
S-a-v-e
M-e
... – by Gracie Miller | 9 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
I want to be
Pretty,
But instead I’m just
Ugly.
I want to be
Happy,
But instead I’m just
Depressed.
I want to be
Carefree,
But instead I’m just
Anxious.
I want to be
Energized,
But instead I’m just
Tired.
I want to be
... – by Gracie Miller | 7 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
Help me,
Help me.
If you don’t help me
I might lose this fight
And I’ll seek death
As my refuge.
Help me,
Help me.
This is killing me slowly.
Death is on its way
Because I called it
On the phone,
Asking in desperation
For it to come ... – by Gracie Miller | 8 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
I want to be free
But my chains are
Dragging me along.
I’m okay for a while
And then the feeling
Of being alright is gone.
I want to finally be okay
But when I’m finally
Feeling okay,
I start to worry how long the
Happiness will last.
... – by Gracie Miller | 22 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
I can’t breathe,
I can’t cry.
I hide my feelings inside
And hope they’ll go away.
I feel so tired,
I feel so exhausted.
I don’t want to keep going
Because this battle is
Lasting much too long.
I can’t take this pain,
I just can’t save... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
I stupidly question myself,
Why am I doing this?
Why do I care so much
About what people think of me?
My anxiety speaks
And tell me that
It's because people are
Constantly judging you.
I close my mouth
And stay silent
As my social... – by Gracie Miller | 5 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
You need to
Let go.
You need to
Stop holding on.
Your past doesn’t define you.
You need to
Move on;
I know it’s hard
And I know you feel
Like they don’t deserve forgiveness,
But you need to
Move on.
You were just
A little girl.
... – by Gracie Miller | 5 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
Life is good,
Life is fine.
It’s going great
And it’s a smooth ride.
Then confusion,
Pain,
Horror.
Stolen innocence,
Childhood joy and happiness
Are gone.
Years later,
You feel the pain as if a knife were
Stabbing your heart.
You feel... – by Gracie Miller | 11 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
Life is good,
Life is fine.
It’s going great
And it’s a smooth ride.
Then depression creeps in
And steals your peace and joy.
Your heart is cracking
And it hurts so much.
You can’t breathe
And you turn to
Sharp objects for help.
... – by Gracie Miller | 9 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
Slash,
Cut.
Stinging pain,
It burns like fire.
Long sleeves all year round
So they never see.
Blood,
Red marks.
Slashes on your
Arms and legs.
Old scars and new scars,
Self-inflicted wounds.
Punishments for being alive,
Self-inflicted... – by Gracie Miller | 0 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
Life is good,
Life is fine.
It’s going great
And it’s a smooth... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
Your eyes blink fast
And your lip quivers.
You swallow the lump
In your throat.
You turn away to hide
The glassy reflection in your eyes.
Your mascara’s running
As you hide the truth well.
Concealer on your wrists
To hide the redness... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
Smile for the camera.
Click,
Snap.
The flash of light temporarily
Blinds the eyes.
Then post,
Done.
The whole world still
Doesn’t know that the pictures lie.
Smile,
Say “cheese”.
Then once the picture’s done,
The smile wipes
Right... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
These anxious thoughts,
They’re swarming my mind.
I don’t want to
Be too clingy,
But I don’t want to
Be too distant.
I don’t want to
Make you mad
And I don’t want to
Make you leave.
I get nervous when you’re
Talking to someone else
... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
I knew it in my heart
Even though I tried
So hard to forget you.
I knew it
Deep down somewhere
That I still
Loved you that much.
Here I am again,
Sending you heart emojis,
Telling you that I love you,
Together with you again,
Loving... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
It hasn’t been that long
But I’m already dreading it.
We’re officially lovers now
But I’m sick of
Blushing,
I’m tired of
Smiling,
I’m sick of saying
I love you.
I’m so tired of loving you.
Is that bad?
Could it ruin this
Fragile love... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
I guess you convinced me
Or I guess it was accidental,
But whatever the case,
I guess I’m in love
With you again.
I guess I still
Loved you deep down
Or I guess you still
Loved me after all this time,
But whatever we felt,
I guess I’m... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
Why do I still love you?
Why is it so hard?
It’s too difficult to get over you
And I’m trapped
In this position,
This awkward,
Smiling and blushing position.
Here my mind is screaming,
But I just sit there
Like some giggly girl,
... – by Gracie Miller | 7 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
Hide away,
Hide away,
It’ll be okay.
Shut the world out,
Draw the curtains,
And shut yourself forever away.
Hide away,
Hide away,
Close the door and lock it.
Don’t allow visitation,
This is your life every day.
Darken the room,
Flip the... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
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I’m powerless to stop this.
I’m hopeless and
I feel so alone.
I’m powerless against this
And there’s nothing I can do,
But in the very heart,
In the midst
Of all this mess,
I’m trying to believe
That God’s got my back.
I’m trying to... – by Gracie Miller | 13 Views added 1 year ago
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I met Shadow
And I thought
He was my friend
But he betrayed me.
He grabbed my hand
And led me away
To his homeplace of the Night.
Shadow and Dark and Night
Brainwashed my heart and mind
And tricked me to believe
That The Darkness was
... – by Gracie Miller | 8 Views added 1 year ago
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Light and Luminescence
Stared at me
From out of the
Corners of their eyes
And they ran swiftly
Toward me and scooped me up
And took me away
To their homeplace of the Sun.
I sat in a
Fluffy white cloud chair,
Bound up in
Golden... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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The light is abusive
But the darkness is my friend.
The light blinds me
But the darkness lets me see.
The light stabs me
But the darkness gently holds me.
The light lets me fall
But the darkness catches me
With a strong hold.
The light... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I want to be
Filled with grief
But my mind is
Forcing me to be happier.
I want to be
Bursting with anger
But my mind is
Forcing me to enjoy life.
I want to be
Drowning in a sea of
Overwhelming sorrow
But my mind is
Forcing me to be... – by Gracie Miller | 6 Views added 1 year ago
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It feels like he’s dead.
It feels like he died
But I want him to stay “dead”
Because I don’t want to
See him again
Even though I still long to
See him again.
I miss him so much
But I don’t want to
See him again.
I want things to stay
... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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These scars are fading
But I want them to stay.
My wounds are healing
But I want them to bleed.
The blood is drying
But I want it to flow.
The pain is easing
But I want to feel the sting again.
Death is leaving
But I want to feel its grim... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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I’m trying too hard
To convince you,
But it has worked
And I’ve got you fooled.
You think
I’ve completely healed from this.
You think
I’m completely okay now.
You think
I’ve completely gotten over this
And now you’re completely wrong.
... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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Loneliness and sorrow
Still break my heart.
I’m still here
And I’m still alive,
But my heart is torn
And I‘m still forgotten
And lost.
Now I’m still a mess
And everything is just the same
As it was... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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The secrets are out
And they’re all exposed.
There’s still some darkness
And these times are tough.
My heart once was heavy
With all the secrets I hid inside.
But now
My heart feels lighter than a butterfly.
My heart feels happier
And I... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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When I finally told you,
Your eyes teared up
And I thought I heard your heart crack.
When I finally told you,
I rolled up my sleeves
And showed you my cuts.
I could already see you
In your mind asking
Why I would do this.
When I finally... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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I want to stop cutting
But I need it
And I want it so bad.
I should have listened
And I shouldn’t have started,
But now cutting is my addiction.
I need to stop this pain
And I want to stop this pain,
This physical pain,
But it’s just so... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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I don’t know what I want.
Do I choose the light or dark,
The life or death?
I want to stay in my darkened soul
But I also need the light.
I want to stay
Forever in the dark
Because I’m afraid of getting a sunburn,
But I also want to finally ... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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You act surprised
When I tell you about my depression,
But really,
Why should you be so shocked?
Don’t you know that
This is my life every day?
Depression follows me around
Wherever I go
Like a dog on a leash.
It’s like my shadow,
The... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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Physically
I’m cutting
And hurting
And bleeding
And harming
Myself.
Mentally
I’m killing myself
Over and over again
In my head.
Socially
I act like I’m okay
And I smile and laugh
And talk like nothing’s ever wrong.
Emotionally
I try... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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My mind swells with regret
While my heart bursts
With piercing sorrow.
From my eyes,
Tears pour relentlessly.
A mournful wail escapes my mouth,
Full of everything I’ve lost,
Full of the regret that stabs my heart,
Full of the wishes I have... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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I’m numb
And senseless.
My feelings are forever paralyzed
And I’m in a daze.
Immobilized,
I’m frozen in time.
I’m deadened
And dulled.
I’ve forever retreated to my crying silence.
I’m desensitized
And stunned.
I’m forever stuck in my... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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I want to feel like
I’m actually worth something.
I want to feel like
I’m actually alive.
I want to feel like
I’m actually living and breathing;
I want all this pain to end.
I want all this uncertainty
To blow away like dust in the wind.
I... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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It’s all empty.
Everything’s broken
And everything’s gone,
Lost forever.
My empty heart
Yearns to be full once again,
But I don’t know
How long I can even go on.
I feel so helpless,
So tired and weary,
So powerless,
So empty inside.
I... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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Life is too cruel for me
But death is too nice for me,
So I guess I’m living half-dead.
Life is too sad for me
But death is too good for me,
So I guess I’m living half-dead.
Life is too difficult for me
But death is too easy for me,
So I... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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Don’t stop me,
I need this pain.
Don’t stop me,
I need to cut.
Don’t stop me,
This pain is keeping me alive.
Don’t stop me.
Would you want me to die?
Don’t stop me.
Would you want me to give up my life?
Don’t stop me,
I need this pain to... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I’m getting the help I need.
I’m living
With a red bloody help,
Cutting.
It’s easier,
It hurts,
But that’s the only small price
I have to pay.
I get the physical pain
To distract me from this agony inside.
It’s my helper
And my life... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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These cuts,
They slowly appear,
One by one.
Red on tan skin,
Rough lines on smooth skin.
I hide my scars
Beneath my sleeves
So you won’t see
And try to stop me
From doing what I need to do
To survive.
It’s the only way for me
To keep... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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Sleeping too much
Makes me lazy
And I hate myself.
Sleeping too little
Makes me unable to function well
And I hate myself.
Not sleeping at all
Makes me stupid
And I hate myself.
Sleeping the right amount
Doesn't help at all when
I'm... – by Gracie Miller | 6 Views added 1 year ago
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I used to think
Sleep was a magical thing.
A haven where my dreams
Could softly float me to safety
Until the inevitable morning arrived.
I used to think
Sleep was a peaceful time.
A place where I didn't
Need to worry about daytime things.
... – by Gracie Miller | 13 Views added 1 year ago
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Still breathing,
Still alive.
This fight is hard
But I will survive.
Life is tough
And my heart is frail,
But in this lifelong battle
I promise I won't ever fail.
Let it be done,
As said of God's will,
And I'm so tired but he loves me... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I feel crazy,
I feel insane.
I feel like my mind is lost,
I’m falling apart.
Blood is my refuge
While pain is my shelter,
And cutting is my sanctuary.
They help my need for distraction,
But am I crazy for needing this pain?
Am I insane for... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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Thoughts of suicide roam free in my head,
Reminding me of the horrors of life.
They keep telling me,
They keep urging me,
That death is the only alternative.
My head is spinning
And my mind is whirling.
My hands are shaking
And I’m trembling... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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When my words come spilling out,
I cannot change a thing.
It’s like my words are toothpaste
Flowing through the tube,
And once I say one little thing,
I can never put my toothpaste back
In the... – by Gracie Miller | 41 Views added 1 year ago
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I used to think of suicide
As just a fairytale,
Completely convinced
That I would never do such a horror,
And that it was nothing to consider.
Now I cut and scare myself,
Knowing now I’ve not convinced myself
Of not doing such a terror,
So... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I feel it,
A shadow,
Haunting me.
I feel it,
A monster,
Grabbing hold of me,
A danger always near.
I feel it,
A threat,
Its treacherous presence looming over me.
The terrors and horrors of death
Are brushing close to me.
The sharp metal... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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I need this pain,
I want this pain.
I love this pain,
I relish this pain,
This hurtful physical pain.
It’s a need to go on,
It’s a need to stay strong,
This bleeding outer pain.
Am I going insane?
Am I losing my mind?
I am dying,
On the... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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I live each day
Fighting an inner battle
Like a soldier,
Except for the fact that
This soldier is weary,
This soldier is tired.
This soldier is bleeding,
This soldier is dying.
This soldier has battle wounds
On her arms and legs.
The... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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Beneath my sleeves,
Red is all you can see
Because my arms are lined with scars.
Fresh new cuts appear each day
So I never show my arms.
I’m hiding secrets
Beneath my sleeves,
Those secrets drawn in red marks
And written by metal objects
... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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I cut,
I scratch,
I’ve bled like this before.
I cut,
Red lines all over my skin,
Making me a mess.
I cut,
Throat and wrists red,
And scratches along my arms.
I cut,
Hoping to find an alternative
That’s better than this torture
I live... – by Gracie Miller | 7 Views added 1 year ago
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Get away,
Get away,
Your mind is suicidal,
And your heart is dead and broken.
Get away,
Get away,
You’re holding a knife to your wrist,
And you’re wishing you were dead.
Get away,
Get away,
You want to die,
And you want your life to end.
... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I’m living in a volcano,
Where the walls tremble and shake
With mighty roars
And the ground crumbles
Beneath my feet.
The lava is rising,
The heat is suffocating,
And I can hardly breathe.
My heart is burning
As the flames trap me beneath... – by Gracie Miller | 5 Views added 1 year ago
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You’ll know it when
You’re living a lie.
You’ll get it when
You’re living a lie.
When you say you’re okay,
But you’re dead inside.
When your eyes are dull,
And your smile is weak,
And your arms are scarred,
And your laughter is forced,
... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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These cancer cells,
They’re spreading fast.
These cancer cells
Poison me from the inside out.
These cancer cells
Inside my head,
These cancer cells
Are urging me to be dead.
These cancer cells
Are deadly and quick,
And I’m starting to die... – by Gracie Miller | 7 Views added 1 year ago
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I scare myself
When I cut myself.
I scare myself
When the blood appears
And I relish it.
I scare myself
When I scratch my neck,
Hoping to make a cut appear
So I can fall away forever.
I scare myself
When I want to die.
I scare myself
... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I cry,
I weep,
I die,
Tears seep.
Flowing blood,
Broken hearts,
Open wounds,
I’m falling apart.
I cut,
I slash,
I break,
I lash.
I feel guilt,
I feel shame,
I feel dead,
I feel... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I’m numb to this feeling,
I’m cold to my emotions.
My heart is like a stone of ice,
I’m numb to my depression.
I can barely feel anxiety’s presence,
I’m numb to my own existence.
I don’t feel like I’m alive,
Because I’ve grown so used
To... – by Gracie Miller | 6 Views added 1 year ago
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The shock of what I heard
Is starting to melt away,
But I strangely want
To cling to my tears.
I want to hold on to
My depression,
I want to keep my grief in mind.
I want to cling onto this horror
So I won’t have to leave the... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I want to stay here and grieve
As if I had truly lost a loved one.
I’m not ready yet
To come out of the darkness
Because the darkness is my friend,
And the darkness is my companion.
I don’t want
To be blinded by the light just yet,
So... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I don’t want to heal,
I just want to grieve.
I want to cry
Until I’m dehydrated
And I fall to the ground
And go to... – by Gracie Miller | 5 Views added 1 year ago
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Wait,
Please just wait,
Just let me speak.
Just hear me out,
Before I fall apart completely,
And there’s nothing you can... – by Gracie Miller | 7 Views added 1 year ago
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How can I go on?
How can I go back?
How can I face all of this?
How can I keep breathing?
How can I keep living,
When my world is crashing down,
And my heart is crumbling,
And everything is dying... – by Gracie Miller | 7 Views added 1 year ago
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How is it possible
To keep my calm
And act like everything’s alright?
How is it possible
To hold my tears in
And make sure I act strong,
So they think nothing’s changed?
How is it possible
To smile widely
When my world is crashing down
... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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Nothing’s making sense anymore.
Nothing is the same anymore.
Nothing will ever be normal anymore.
Things’ll be different soon,
I can already tell,
Because normal is only a fantasy,
A fairytale,
A myth,
And I’ve ruined everything.
Everything... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I don’t want to be okay today.
You’re trying to get me to get up,
But I just want to lay in bed all day.
You’re trying to get me to eat again,
But I just want to starve myself.
You’re trying to get me not to bleed,
But I just want the physical... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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He was taken away
And put somewhere else,
Completely out of our sight,
Without our consent
Or even a goodbye.
Now I see you
Laughing,
Just chilling,
Like nothing ever happened.
Like he wasn’t ever snatched away,
Like he’s not gone,
Like... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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It’s all gone,
Everything’s lost.
I’m just nothing,
I’m just dead inside.
I can only feel sorrow,
Cutting is my only escape.
No one understands,
No one seems to care.
I’m all alone in this tragic world,
I can’t breathe anymore,
And I can’t... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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You say it’ll be alright,
But it’s not getting better.
You say I’m strong
And we’re getting through this together.
You think I’m strong enough to get through this
And you think I’ll be just fine,
But you’re wrong.
Stop trying to convince me
... – by Gracie Miller | 7 Views added 1 year ago
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I’ve got no feelings,
No more emotions.
No emojis could ever
Explain my heartache and sorrow.
I’m blind to this pain,
I’m deaf to this agonizing cry.
My own cry goes unnoticed,
Unheard,
And no one can hear me
Scream my sorrowful... – by Gracie Miller | 6 Views added 1 year ago
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If only you knew me,
If only it were real.
The feelings I have for you
Are greater than ever.
If only we weren’t two separate people,
Living life without knowledge of the other’s existence, Then things would be easier,
And life would be... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I find myself often staring,
Watching my enemy closely
From a careful distance away.
I know if I step any closer
I might just get sucked into
The temptation to hurt.
Knives and razor blades
Have become my enemies,
And I’m trying not to get... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I have a lot of feelings for you
But as I knew it anyway,
You never knew how I felt.
All you do is just ignore my meaningful stares
And the sadness and pain in my eyes.
If you would have just told me
If you liked me or not,
At least I... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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You can’t imagine how horrible I feel.
You can’t imagine my sorrow and sadness.
The pain is sharper than ever,
And it’s too much for me to bear.
You can’t even begin to imagine
All this pain and torture
And what it’s like for... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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Young girl,
Young innocent girl,
Young innocent contented girl,
Young innocent contented clueless girl,
Young innocent contented clueless adorable girl,
A girl who had no idea at all
Of what horrors she would endure
Back when she was so... – by Gracie Miller | 8 Views added 1 year ago
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Sorrow will be my life,
And sorrow will be my companion.
Sorrow will see me through to death,
And sorrow will be my death.
Sorrow will be my only friend,
And sorrow will be close to me always.
Sorrow is in me,
And sorrow will gently see me to... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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I want to hurt
Because I’m hurting inside,
But I want to feel physical pain,
So my body can understand
How my heart feels.
I want to hurt.
Physical hurt
Will be my companion,
Physical hurt
Will be the only way
For me to distract myself
... – by Gracie Miller | 5 Views added 1 year ago
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I try to be grateful,
Grateful that you’re caring about me.
I try to be thankful,
Thankful that you worry,
But it’s hard,
Because I’m blinded by the pain of life.
I’m blinded by everything
I’m going through,
And I need you to help me
Fight... – by Gracie Miller | 5 Views added 1 year ago
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My heart is broken on the floor.
It shattered such a long time ago,
But I’ve been stuck for quite some time,
So I’ve never had the chance to
Put it all back together.
My life is dying,
I’m losing hope,
And soon my life will be... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
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If you care,
Please let me know
Because my life is slowly dying.
And if you don’t save me in time,
I will be forever... – by Gracie Miller | 5 Views added 1 year ago
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If anyone can hear me,
If anyone is near,
Can somebody please help me?
My voice is hoarse,
I cannot speak.
My silent cry
Cannot be heard
Because I am too... – by Gracie Miller | 15 Views added 1 year ago
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I want to kill myself,
I want to kill myself.
I want to die,
I want to die.
This pain is too much to handle,
And I can’t take this anymore.
I hate myself,
I hate myself,
And I’ll be doing everyone a favor
If I just let go and... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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|
I want to scream,
I want to cry,
I want to cut,
I want to die.
I want to wail,
I want to grieve,
I want to slash,
I want to weep.
I don’t want to fight this fight,
I don’t feel the need to live,
So can someone please help pick me up,
... – by Gracie Miller | 7 Views added 1 year ago
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I can’t think,
I can’t move,
That’s because I’m stuck
In some brain mud.
I have so many feelings,
But I don’t know how to write them,
And this is all I can write right now,
Because my brain is clogged with... – by Gracie Miller | 13 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
Why am I stuck
Inside of this
Dreadful building
When I could be
Outside in the snow
Playing,
Sledding,
Tumbling down the hill,
Instead of homework
Teaching,
And school,
I want to just go home
And be... – by Gracie Miller | 6 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
The world is a war zone.
Above the clouds
Is my shepherd.
Down below is my enemy,
Full of hatred for everyone
And everything,
So, God above,
Protect me
With your... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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Sometimes life can
Get you down,
And when no one else
Is around to help you out,
I find you
And you find me.
We will always be
Together like this.
I will always be here
For you,
When you’re feeling
All alone,
I’ll be right there
To... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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I’ll be your
Guardian angel
Who watches over you
As you sleep,
Who sends you
Peaceful dreams
In hearts and
Air-kisses
That land on your cheeks
And make you smile.
The nightmares
Tremble and flee
In terror from my presence
Because I just... – by Gracie Miller | 7 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
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Please don’t go,
Please stay here,
You don’t know what
Happens when I’m
Alone.
When I have time to think,
I think such things
That bring me down
And crush me
Until I’m crying
And my pillow
Is soaked.
Please stay here,
Please,
I need... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
I love you even
Though you’re not mine,
I love you
With a love
That’s different
Than love,
I don’t love you
Like I love someone else,
But I still
Love you
And I want to make
You feel happy,
But it’s okay
If someone
Else makes
You... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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When I think about how
you’re gone
forever,
I cry and weep,
Not wanting anything else
But for you to
Hold me
In your soothing,
Comforting arms,
And sing me to sleep.
When I hear your
Graceful,
Soothing voice
Singing to me,
I let the... – by Gracie Miller | 5 Views added 1 year ago
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Some days I just have
That faraway stare,
I just stare into space,
And let my mind wander aimlessly.
For when you feel sad you can’t help
But wonder how you can go on.
And I feel like
Nothing really matters
On those sad days,
When I just... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
Sometimes I wish that I
could close my mouth with duct tape,
though it never works.
I always end up regretting some words
that I wish I could just take back,
but my words just spread all around... – by Gracie Miller | 8 Views added 1 year ago
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|
I try not to cry
But the tears fall anyway,
I’m dying inside
Because I can’t tell you anything,
I try not to cry,
When I stare at you,
Knowing that I’m just alone,
Knowing that it’s never fair
When you’ve accidentally
Fallen in... – by Gracie Miller | 10 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
When will I die?
When will this end?
When will I become free?
When will these thoughts leave?
When will my life get better?
When will I get over my past?
When will my eyes stop shedding tears?
When will my heart beat normally again?
When... – by Gracie Miller | 7 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
You think you know love,
Do you?
You think you’re so humorous,
Do you?
You think you can play with a girl’s feelings,
Do you?
You think you’re that funny,
Do you?
You don’t even know what I’m feeling,
Do you?
You think feelings are meant... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
Dawn will come,
Even if the night seems long,
And we will be alright.
All we have to do
Is survive the long night,
And when morning finally comes,
We’ll be... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
| Rating
|
What have I done?
Why have I done this?
I was so stupid
For thinking
That I could actually
Win this war.
But I’m a loser,
I’m a jerk,
For breaking promises
I made
To those who care,
And how can I tell them all
That I’ve broken the vows... – by Gracie Miller | 1 View added 1 year ago
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|
My life is ebbing slowly away,
I cannot stop the hurt,
Ibuprofen can only heal so much pain,
And even though it’s a pain reliever,
It’s not strong enough
To heal this pain inside.
I’m trying to hang on
And stay strong,
But it’s so hard
To... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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Our life together is no more,
It’s like you died
An invisible death,
That only you and I know,
Your death began
When I first noticed
That you weren’t acting like yourself,
Then I found out
You were with someone else,
It was like a little... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I cannot deal with
The torture I receive each day.
I cannot deal with
Being treated so terribly.
I cannot deal with
My life right now,
So I slam the door
And lock myself
Forever... – by Gracie Miller | 5 Views added 1 year ago
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Draw me close O Lord,
I pray to the Heavens above,
I need to feel you near,
As I’m
Thrashing about
In the waves
In the storms of life,
Hear me out O Lord,
I cry to the darkened sky,
Hear me and don’t ignore me,
My life is in peril,
As... – by Gracie Miller | 3 Views added 1 year ago
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I wish I could always
Be able to hold on to a hope
When life has got me down.
But for me,
There’s always
Something missing in my life,
But I don’t know what.
So, if you would,
Could someone please
Tell me where
My hope is... – by Gracie Miller | 2 Views added 1 year ago
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I remember
Those good old days,
When we would love like no other,
When we would tease and laugh,
Smile and giggle,
And life was just okay.
I remember
When we were doing alright.
When I cried,
You’d always be there
To hold me
And rock me... – by Gracie Miller | 4 Views added 1 year ago
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Oh, beautiful bookworm’s dream world, you sweep me into
A billion universes of fantasy and daring escapades.
I am a heroine, protecting my loved ones from harm,
Then I’m a queen, ruling over all fairly and justly,
Then a young animal exploring... – by Gracie Miller | 51 Views added 1 year ago
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I’m sorry God
I must confess,
I tried so hard,
I did my best.
Can you just close
My mouth right now?
Cause for what I did,
I don’t know how.
What I said just now
Was a tragedy,
I’m sorry Lord
How can this... – by Gracie Miller | 7 Views added 1 year ago
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Sometimes in life,
There is death,
And sometimes in life,
Life can turn into a tragedy,
But within this grief,
There is happiness and hope,
For there’s a better place
For our lost and loved ones,
Sometimes in life,
Tragedy can strike,
And... – by Gracie Miller | 5 Views added 1 year ago
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There is a girl of about sixteen years,
In theatre she is, beating her stage fears.
If she is truthful, some days of her life,
She fights against herself in quite a strife.
She has never-ending, heavy issues,
In which past times her coping... – by Gracie Miller | 11 Views added 1 year ago
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A girl of an age so young,
Whose fate had been decided before it was done.
There came a friend of hers, a little boy
But soon she found he would not bring her joy.
They were neighbors, a relationship of no harm,
Before he, a victim himself,... – by Gracie Miller | 14 Views added 1 year ago
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Oh, Depression,
How you’ve ruined my life again and again!
You snuck up behind me like the snake you are,
And you made me love to be with you in misery.
I once missed the feeling of unending pain and sorrow,
And I fell for your lies
About... – by Gracie Miller | 12 Views added 1 year ago
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What could my parents do when they discovered
Their daughter had been abused by a kid
Only younger than her?
Of course, he’s not the victim here; neither of us were.
We were just innocent children gone wrong.
But now I live with the fear of... – by Gracie Miller | 38 Views added 1 year ago
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