THE TREEHOUSE



I finally agreed when he turned eight
To build his ' Castle in the sky'
With wooden steps nailed up the side
Just so he could climb that high.

Four walls, about six feet tall
Although not exactly square
And little windows on every side
So he could look out everywhere.

For the roof he said, "Please daddy,
Let's not cover it all the way
Then I can see the stars at night
And feel the sun each day".

Six short days after we began
That treehouse was complete
I thought it was a work of art
He just kept saying, 'neat'!

He wanted to have an open-house
Invite his friends to come and see
We planned it for the coming weekend
But somethings just aren't meant to be.

Early Friday morning the telephone rang
A large truck hit the bus they said
Many children injured, some were fatal
And mine was among the dead.

Now, when I'm feeling terribly alone
I will climb up that old tree
And sit for hours at a time
Pretending he's still there with  me.

The other day, I fell asleep there
And had the strangest, wonderful dream
About a castle in the sky
And my boy, calling down to me.

Saying Daddy, just climb the steps
That I've nailed down for you
I've got the highest treehouse of all
And I'm having open-house, for you.....

About this poem

I created this poem to help those grieving for the loss of a child. Life has a way of stealing away our love and leaving a hole we attempt to fill with grief which itself is lost love.

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Written on August 02, 2022

Submitted by jerrylogie on August 02, 2022

Modified on May 04, 2023

1:17 min read
3,366

Quick analysis:

Scheme XABA CDBD EFXF XGXG XEXE XHXH XEXE DXAE XICI
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,222
Words 251
Stanzas 9
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Gerald Logie

I've always longed to write words powerful enough to create emotion... more…

All Gerald Logie poems | Gerald Logie Books

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Discuss the poem THE TREEHOUSE with the community...

40 Comments
  • ladythepoet21490
    I don't have children but from experience, losing a loved one is never easy. Thank you for writing this piece, it reminds me that though they might not be here with me, they are never far from close. In heart and in heart always 
    LikeReply1 month ago
  • Giselavigil
    You really reached hearts with this one.
    LikeReply4 months ago
  • JoseCanUC
    Well done.
    LikeReply7 months ago
  • starrlynn8482
    So am I to understand this right?? You didn’t actually experience losing a son through a tragic accident?
    LikeReply 19 months ago
    • lovingempath
      One of the beauties of poetry, is that you aren't confined to non-fiction. Some of the best poetry I've read is where the author has been able to enter the soul and mind of someone else who just might have experienced something very similar. Gerald is very good with this. 
      LikeReply9 months ago
    • jerrylogie
      Correct, this poem was meant for others who have lost a loved one, to let them know they are not alone in their tragedies. I love the fact that I am able to make you feel it was real!!
      LikeReply9 months ago
  • cokerrogers
    Beautiful
    LikeReply10 months ago
  • veraheide
    Touches one's heart and almost made me weep. Such a waste of a dear child's life is unbearable to heal, but knowing that he is always with you in thought is
    helpful and his memory includes much gladness for his life as short as it was. 
    LikeReply11 months ago
  • Jupiter
    I'm lost for words!
    LikeReply11 months ago
  • mayonde
    Such a tragedy. This is a story more than poetry and a child's death will surely touch the hearts of the multitude. So sad, you should win no matter what. FORGET POETRY!
    LikeReply 111 months ago
  • Animebutterfly
    So heart touching. Never lost a child of my own but reading this made me feel the pain ofa parent losing theirs...
    LikeReply1 year ago
    • jerrylogie
      I'm sorry yet quite pleased that I was able to make you FEEL my poem. That was exactly what I was trying to accomplish . Thank You for your comments...
      LikeReply 11 year ago
  • chellebelle77
    Beautifully heartbreaking.
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • Natdolkar
    A great poem in all senses
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • peteduba
    Very good poem.
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • sabastian_c
    This hits different when you have a child. Very moving to say the least.
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • author177
    This hit me harder than a truck. Very impactiful poem
    LikeReply 21 year ago
  • npirandy
    Great job Gerald. I really enjoyed the storyline, although bittersweet as it was. Keep up the good work!
    LikeReply 21 year ago
  • ljsanders
    Sad but beautiful.
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • luisestable1
    Well, a very good feeling should be had here. To emerge triumphant where there were so many excellent poems is something to be proud of. But not to take anything away, this poem deserves it. It is a good one at many levels: the diction, the rhyme-scheme, the story, the form of the stanzas, all wonderful example of good poetry. So the poem is quite worthy of the prize.
    This poem is a pleasure. I read it four times. 
    LikeReply 21 year ago
  • jchslaton
    I cried when I rad this poem
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • yasmeen69ali.org.co.uk
    Hello Gerald. What a beautiful poem. I can resonate with your wordings too. They depict your loss with such heartfelt loss. I am so super sorry. TC. Kindest regards…Yasmeen Ali
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • Philipo
    I was for February and June but I noticed this particular work along the way and acknowledged it. Fine work and congrats.
    LikeReply 11 year ago
    • lovingempath
      Once you start noticing other poems along the way; it opens a whole new world of beauty :).
      LikeReply 11 year ago
  • sstrait16
    Beautiful
    LikeReply1 year ago
  • Wildflower888
    So emotionally powerful!
    LikeReply1 year ago
  • lovingempath
    Loved it the first time I voted for it, and still love it.
    LikeReply1 year ago
    • jerrylogie
      Thank you SOOOOO much for the love and encouragement you give to my works and words. I read your comment under the poems of the year contest and felt like maybe it was unfair of me but then I remembered that's what comments are for!! Thank you again!! 
      LikeReply 11 year ago
  • Philipo
    Sad one here.
    LikeReply1 year ago
    • jerrylogie
      Not reality, just a poem. Did you like it?
      LikeReply 11 year ago
  • captainv001
    I am just 18 yet and wrote 6 poems yet and today posted a poem named Dead dreams for contest ... But sir I am really very impressed by reading your poem ... And I got to learn a lot about writing poems ... Your poem is really masterpiece ... I got an inspiration because of you sir ... Thank you and have a great life 
    LikeReply 21 year ago
  • adelelenaleahy
    So very very beautiful ❤️
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • IndigoHeart
    Well this was quite powerful, bittersweet and somehow uplifting. Nicely done.
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • nikkib.01179
    That was beautiful, I always wanted a tree house when I was a child.
    Brought a tear to my eyes, was this about you and your boy?
    LikeReply1 year ago
    • jerrylogie
      TY nikkib for your praise of my words. This was not myself and my son. I just thought of this one day and wrote it down. I changed words here and there till eventually it worked, sounded and felt the wayI wanted it to. Isn't that what poetry is all about?......... 
      LikeReply 11 year ago
  • jerrylogie
    Hi, I am Gerad Logie. I am so touched by all the compliments and love I feel flowing from this site. This is definitely where I will submit and share my work AND YOURS..... THX 4 the good words!!
    LikeReply 31 year ago
  • ashamerianllc
    What beautiful words and tribute. I can not imagine your pain but I can empathize with great loss and immense grief. You and your family will be in my thoughts
    LikeReply1 year ago
    • jerrylogie
      My family and I are fine, TY. Without emotions,
      What would we be?
      Like mannequins, posing,
      For no one to see... 
      LikeReply1 year ago
  • snowpagg01
    I could hardly breathe or see at the end. Beautiful. The pain of loss will always be overwhelming but your heart will always be filled with his memory.
    LikeReply1 year ago
  • Symmetry58
    This was an amazing piece of writing and creativity. My brother did lose a 6 month old son, Cameron, many years ago. It was a time we'd like to forget, but then the depth of such pain only assures us of the depth of love we felt/feel for our little angel. This brought tears to my eyes. You're a hell of a writer, Gerald. Thank you. 
    LikeReply 21 year ago
  • robertrad2021
    Light excelleth darkness; beautiful poem
    LikeReply1 year ago
    • jerrylogie
      Thank you for critiquing my poetry and rating it so highly!
      LikeReply1 year ago
  • highaltitudemama
    The tragedy of losing a child and being able to write about it. That treehouse. My heart broke for this father. I can only imagine the pain in recalling his son's word, "neat." Being a parent, it's the worst loss imaginable and I honor this father for honoring his son in this way. 
    LikeReply1 year ago
  • Dmeiksans
    Emotional touch
    LikeReply1 year ago
  • mwalker.augustine
    I read every poem! Yes, this is my favorite. Many were too long, tedious. This was easy to read, quick to catch attention., and ended heartfelt.
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • kaushikprabhav
    The story laid out is well written. I felt the pain pierce my heart when I came to the second half of the poem. And the parallel drawn between the treehouse in the tree and the treehouse in heaven was absolutely beautiful, something I never expected. And when I read the title, I was apprehensive at first, but the poet has done full justice to the title and couldn't have selected a better one. This is a poem has still left me with a heavy heart, much after reading it. And technically speaking, the rhyme scheme was in good taste and the syllable length was also consistent. But the emotional aspect of this poem is it's greatest quality. I give this my vote without any hesitation. 
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • lovingempath
    This poem grabbed my heart, and ripped it out of my chest. Written beautifully. I'm still trying to re-hydrate my body from all the fluid lost through tears (I'll send you a bill from the hospital, if I don't recover :). 
    LikeReply1 year ago
  • gaurav_m
    I vote for 'THE TREEHOUSE' for its heartfelt poignancy. It touches the heart and has you wish that such a tragedy never happens to anyone ever again.
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • mathman.nal
    1) Being that the poem was divided into verses, the verses were relatively even and done effectively.
    2) It seemed to me the grammar was done well creating a good flow.
    3) The writer also chose to rhyme the 2nd and 4th lines of each verse as separate pairs and maintained that sequence throughout the poem.
    4) The word choice was also done very well creating a feeling of connection the reader can have with the parent's pain, eventual peace and the conflict the writer feels between the two.
    5) The poem continually has a direction, clear and precise. Although the writer possibly didn't use any metaphor and simile that I see, they may be appropriate and good in a poem, but I feel that they need to be clear and precise in one way or another. Many poems in this contest have metaphor or simile, but throughout many of those poems it was difficult to tell what the writers meant at all. Some other poems that may have not had any metaphor or simile, were also difficult t decipher what the intended meaning was.
    6) Finally, "The Treehouse" was not unnecessarily long, but was also seemingly complete in the story the writer has to tell, even bringing the poem to a close with a clear and precise resolution.
    7) There were other poems that were also done well overall, however, I felt none could connect the reader to the writer like this one.

    Of the poems I could vote on, I feel "The Treehouse" has the most meaning overall and fits all the criteria I have mentioned. It is my
     
    LikeReply 31 year ago
    • jerrylogie
      Thank you for your critique and compliments on my work. You did a thorough job of breaking the poem down and evaluating the rhythem, rhyme, flow and it's ability to make the reader feel the words. Thank you for your professional view... 
      LikeReply 11 year ago

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"THE TREEHOUSE" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/136872/the-treehouse>.

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"He was like a rainy Tuesday" is an example of ________.
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