Lack of Dopamine

Discuss the poem Lack of Dopamine with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/171236/lack-of-dopamine

Newest Oldest Popular

5 Comments

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  Vixility

  Just read that poem by Jericho. Wow! What an interesting form! I’ve never read this poet before, nor have I come across this particular poetic structure.
  
  One of the things I appreciate about you (and consequently your poetry) is the boldness with which you take on various forms! It’s quite inspiring, to be honest with you. Reading works like yours (and others on this site) really makes one re-examine their poetic prowess.
  
  Thank you, Kaytee! You’ve nudged me out of my ‘poetic slumbers’. I’ll be exploring new and various forms just as you’ve been doing.
  
  Yes, Jericho’s poem is wonderful, but “Lack of Dopamine” is gold! Saluting your talent from Colorado … more »

  LikeReply6 months ago
  • 

    Vixility

    Lol … and thank you too, Julie [Inset Last Name]

    LikeReply 16 months ago
  • 

    Kaytee

    Thanks so much! I'm glad you like this one. I love your poetry and appreciate your opinion. I hate that I couldn't format it just right but I'm sure readers get the gist. Alison Luterman, my poetry teacher, gets all the credit for introducing me to new forms. It's really fun for me to learn and try the new techniques. One of the cool writing tricks I learned from her is to pick 10 random words and try to incorporate them into a poem. It is really interesting what we can come up with a few prompts.
    
    And thanks for taking the time to look up Jericho Brown! That poem is gold, too more »

    LikeReply 16 months ago
• 

  AIDA

  I truly enjoyed your poem, 'Lack of Dopamine'. Its profundity and earnest portrayal of personal struggle with identity and mental health is both admirable and impactful. The use of symbolism and dichotomy between the persona's parents, as well as the repeated phrases to emphasize forgetfulness, it effectively captures the confusion and inner turmoil.
  
  Your wording is powerful, and your questions provoke deep introspection. I also appreciate your exploration of the theme of adulthood and childhood. The dance metaphor is quite engaging and it adds an element of rhythm to your work. You also did a great job tangling the scientific terms into an emotional and personal narrative, making it relatable and approachable.
  
  Moving on to areas for potential improvement, while your raw honesty is definitely one of your strengths, you may want to incorporate more imagery or use different poetic devices to increase the richness of your poem. Also, exploring different formats for the poem could possibly increase its visual appeal and readability.
  
  Moreover, while the repetition serves a significant purpose in your poem, you might want to be cautious about using it too frequently, so that it doesn't become monotonous. By varying the structure slightly, it could keep the reader even more engaged.
  
  Despite these suggestions, I found your poem to be incredibly emotional, thoughtful and deeply moving. You have a unique and expressive voice. I encourage you to keep writing and exploring different aspects of human emotion and experience. Great job! more »

  LikeReply6 months ago
• 

  talygarza

  Glimpses very vivid about family themes written in a novel poetic form. I love coffee as poetic theme.

  LikeReply6 months ago
  • 

    Kaytee

    thanks so much for your feedback. I’m highly motivated by coffee.

    LikeReply 16 months ago
• 

  Symmetry60

  On a serious note, I like it a lot, albeit the reverse is true for me in that I forget my age when I look in the mirror. Think "exceedingly handsome" and "debonair"...or you can just be realistic and think "prune juice, pulp-in" and "uncontrollable, chronic, diaphragmatic belching." Nice work, dear one. more »

  LikeReply6 months ago
  • 

    Kaytee

    I imagine you singing “I’m too sexy for this mirror” LOL I had to double check myself that I wasn’t copying your last poem on aging. Also if you dim the lights a bit you still look 30.

    LikeReply6 months ago
  • 

    Symmetry60

    In my Match.com profile, on one of my photos, I wrote, "Clearly, I'm too sexy for my sleeves, too sexy for that." Who knew! Oh yeah, you. :-P

    LikeReply6 months ago
  • 

    Kaytee

    haha, I should have known. At least you don't have the dreaded picture with a fish lol

    LikeReply 16 months ago
• 

  Symmetry60

  Congratulations, you've just described me exactly but for the ADHD. Oh look, a shiny thing!

  LikeReply6 months ago
  • 

    Kaytee

    haha

    LikeReply6 months ago