Vixility
  Gold Member

Kierkegaard’s phrase “not wanting in despair to be oneself” kept coming to mind as I read this piece. I think it was the lines ‘how nice it can be / being another’ along with the fourth stanza and the poem overall.

Love the simplicity of the stanzas and the complexity of the language—especially the contrasts throughout (e.g. stanzas four and five).

Poems about identity conundrums and our place in the world are almost always powerful as most people are able to relate to the struggle of them. Excellent piece! more »

I’m so full I could sleep for weeks! Hahaha … happy Thanksgiving to you as well.

The unfortunate truth is that this poem of yours is probably relatable to most people. Wonderful imagery. Excellent ending.

Wow, Je … this poem is like a cookie cutter for most of the politicians who are ‘running’ the world.

And man! I love your use of language. Vivid vivid imagery!

Boo! I wanted to comment on your Shakespearean style poem. I thought it was really well done.

Incidentally, I read the following quote earlier today:

“Fortunately, some are born with spiritual immune systems that sooner or later give rejection to the illusory worldview grafted upon them from birth through social conditioning. They begin sensing that something is amiss, and start looking for answers. Inner knowledge and anomalous outer experiences show them a side of reality others are oblivious to, and so begins their journey of awakening. Each step of the journey is made by following the heart instead of following the crowd and by choosing knowledge over the veils of ignorance.”

–Henri Bergson more »

Incredibly intense!—pearly shiny sepulchers on the outside, but rot and death within.

I completely agree: seems like the further back into the past we go, the more brutal. I’m therefore also grateful that I wasn’t born back then.

But then I stand and look about and marvel at the world we live in today: so much evil and darkness intermixed with so much beauty. I don’t get it, sometimes. And sometimes it causes me no small amount of anxiety. But then other times (often I should add) Benevolence and Beauty and Meaning prevail.

I often wonder if, in a century or two from now—if those succeeding generations will look back on us and dread the thought of living in our times. more »

Fine work! Boy, what journey this life is indeed. The way you wrote this poem, with its cadence and intermittent repetitions, caused me to feel like I was caught in a back and forth temporal haze of time travel and memory. Love the language you use to achieve this …

Incidentally, I’ve been reading this philosopher (Henri Bergson) whose works orbit around the ontological status of memory and how the past is still organically a ‘part’ of everything that currently is. That coincidence just made you poem that much more interesting and relatable.

Again, fine work … more »

Charlotte, thank you for stopping by and leaving that nice comment. I think any writer hearing that their work has ‘transported’ a reader to another place—I think they would be profoundly grateful.

Thank you. You made my day. more »

So happy that you ARE sharing your works. I know you have a handful of fans (myself included) who really appreciate your obvious ability with words along with the very relatable subjects you chose. I'm always eager to see what you (and others) are going to submit.
Strange, though ... from other conversations I've had, there are A LOT of people here who are posting their works who previously would have never thought of doing so. I don't know why this is trending, but it makes me incredibly happy that people feel safe enough here to express themselves openly through verse.
I hope more 'vagabond poets' are able to find a home somewhere for their works. more »

Adam, thank you! I've really been fired up lately by having read so many remarkable pieces on this site. Your works, among many others I've come across here, have deeply inspired me to dive in a little deeper. Thank you thank you! more »

Brandi (aka B)! that is too kind of you to say. It was a fun poem to work on. Those words of yours: "... a garden where those of us still dream ..." beautiful words that could easily serve as a foundation for a poem in its own right. Just saying ...
Thank you again for stopping by and commenting. more »

The imagery and metaphors are really good, and the message of the poem incredibly (and tragically) deep. Oh, what I would do to mend those hellish rifts that divides humans from humans.

Congratulations on the win! Loved the structure and positive message of this piece.