Rate:5.0 / 5 votes

Your thorns

Kaytee

We are mismatched you and I
Day and night trying to converge
I think we have collided for lifetimes
You trying to light the pyre
Me attempting to put out the wildfire

I am the eye of the storm
And you are the fury
I longed for the ONE
To fill my emptiness
But I shattered myself on your broken edges


You wrapped your tenderness in barbed wire
And made me bleed to find it
Our souls longed for one another
Yet could not exist together
I felt the need to heal your pain
But the thorns gave you strength

I see now that you meant no harm
You are a warrior, fierce and burning
And I am silk waving in the wind

About this poem

Reflecting on someone I loved very much who probably loved me too but we just could not be together and ironically suffered being apart.

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Written on April 10, 2023

Submitted by Kaytee on April 10, 2023

Modified by Kaytee on April 11, 2023

38 sec read
97

Quick analysis:

Scheme XXXAA XXXXX AXAAXX XXX
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 610
Words 129
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 5, 5, 6, 3
Full analysis for Your thorns »

Kaytee

New poet working on regaining myself more…

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3 Comments
  • Wildflower888
    Wildflower888
    Wow, beautiful masterpiece, Kaytee!I really love and feel every stanza. Ugggh that feeling that “our souls longed for one another, yet could not exist together” is just heart-wrenching! My heart is bleeding just reading this. ❤️ 
    LikeReply 11 year ago
    • Kaytee
      Kaytee
      Thanks so much for your feedback. Poetry is heart-wrenching and healing.
      LikeReply1 year ago
  • Hardenburg
    Hardenburg
    I do really like this poem a lot, and agree with Lainah. The line, “You wrapped your tenderness in barbwire and made me bleed to find it”, excellently describes the difficulty one can experience in regard to getting closer to someone who is being abrasive. Side note: I have noticed that comments on certain poems of mine are failing to go through for some people, I think it has something to do with me editing the piece after publication, but I'm not sure. So if I fail to respond to a comment of yours, it's because I'm not seeing it; my sincere apologies. But I digress, fantastic work! 
    LikeReply1 year ago
    • Kaytee
      Kaytee
      Thanks so much for your feedback. I really appreciate it. I think I rated some of poetry 5 stars and I may have commented but I totally get that some them of may have disappeared with editing. You do great work! Keep it up. 
      LikeReply1 year ago
  • Symmetry58
    Symmetry58
    Damn, K, you are a master at expressing yourself. You write perfectly to suit what fulfills my wants as it pertains to poetry. This is so damn good in so many ways.
    LikeReply 11 year ago
    • Kaytee
      Kaytee
      Thanks so much for your feedback. I appreciate it! I needed to catch up with all the poetry pouring out of our group of brilliant poets.
      LikeReply 11 year ago
    • Symmetry58
      Symmetry58
      Mission accomplished.
      LikeReply 11 year ago

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"Your thorns" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/156622/your-thorns>.

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