Masquerading as a Sonnet

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/170641/masquerading-as-a-sonnet

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  AIDA

  I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem, "Masquerading as a Sonnet". Your transparency and honesty are both admirable and refreshing. The unique combination of words produces a level of vibrancy that makes your work come alive. I particularly loved the line "Today my underwear matches so I am a grown up for the day." It was cheeky, relatable and brought an element of humor into the undertone of self-doubt and exploration.
  
  Your poem captures the essence of the human condition– always striving, failing, and pretending. By articulating your internal conflict and societal expectations, you expose a vulnerability that readers can relate to. The balance of boldness and insecurity, expressed through your uniquely personal lens, resonates on a profound level.
  
  That being said, I would suggest working on the structure and the rhythm of your poem to give it a more coherent feel. It's essential to ensure that the lines flow and that each transition is smooth and purposeful. Try playing around with different metrical patterns to gain a consistency in tempo.
  
  Also, while the rawness of your thoughts is a strong aspect of your work, I'd recommend refining your imagery – for instance, you could delve deeper into the symbolism of the "calico cat in red panties and a black bra". A richer exploration of this could foster a deeper connection with your readers.
  
  Again, great work! I look forward to reading more from you. Keep challenging boundaries and experimenting with your style, your perspective is a breath of fresh air. more »

  LikeReply6 months ago
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  Symmetry60

  Back for another read. I so love how your mind operates...despite a seeming self-loathe you express here. Do you love yourself, K, or dwell upon the notion that you are somehow unworthy to? I'm nosy, but functionally so as I am truly interested to know. If out of line, slap some sense into my nosey nostrils and I'll stand down. more »

  LikeReply6 months ago
  • 

    Kaytee

    Do you want the long or answer of the short answer? I started playing with this topic because as a teenager I got the idea in my brain that when I was a grown up my under garments would match. Well, they don't 90% of time so when they do I laugh and think "wow, I'm a grown up today." I also so a meme the other day that said in scary movies only the girls with matching under garments get murdered so hopefully I'm safe if I'm ever in a horror movie, LOL. I think I have pretty healthy self esteem. I do beat myself up from time to time but I think it is more about not being my authentic self in front of others. Because of my job,I spend all day listening to other people's problem and out of habit (from being a great therapist or bad therapist) I tend to take on that role with friends and not get my needs met. So, when I write I can reveal my neurotic thoughts but I assure you they are fleeting and occasionally healthy thoughts sneak in. And, today I am not a grown up :) more »

    LikeReply 16 months ago
  • 

    Symmetry60

    Well, I was going ask for the short version, but there went that aspiration down the rabbit hole that is your terrifyingly multifaceted soul. Ain't I a stinker!
    
    But seriously, I find it all very interesting or I'd have never risked the Reader's Digest unabridged version.
    
    Today my underwear matches my soul - b-l-a-c-k as all get-out. more »

    LikeReply 16 months ago
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  Symmetry60

  I want to hug your brain.

  LikeReply 16 months ago
  • 

    Kaytee

    if you did you would be hugging about 50 squirrels too

    LikeReply 16 months ago