Her Eyes



I'll be staying in the city for a while so I rented a room
It's on the 2nd floor and I arrived exactly at 12 noon
Before climbing the stairs, the door leading to the basement caught my attention
I peeked through the small hole to satisfy my curious sensation

I started having nightmares since I moved here
At night, some weird noises I can often hear
From time to time, I still peek through that hole
To see the inside of it is my biggest goal

Until came the day that I'll be going back home
I saw the landlady sitting somewhere alone
I asked her about the door going to the basement
I was in total shock to hear her creepy statement

"A girl tenant of mine committed suicide
And that's exactly where she died!"

I can feel my heart beating fast inside
I cleared my throat and abruptly replied

"I peeked through that hole many times before
But the only thing I can see is a light blue color
Is the room perhaps painted with that hue?"
She responded, "No! But her eyes are light blue!"

About this poem

Horror and thriller are definitely my cup of tea. This poem was my first attempt to capture those genres in my usual play of rhyme.

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Written on January 09, 2024

Submitted by FLi on January 10, 2024

Modified by FLi on February 08, 2024

1:00 min read
79

Quick analysis:

Scheme XXAA BBCC XXDD EE EE XXFF
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 988
Words 198
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 2, 2, 4

Francelle Ortega

Player of words to form an art, A writer and poet at heart! ❤ more…

All Francelle Ortega poems | Francelle Ortega Books

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Discuss the poem Her Eyes with the community...

4 Comments
  • Vixility
    Yikes!! She was looking at you the whole time … creepy creepy creepy. Nice piece, really well done.
    LikeReply 12 months ago
    • FLi
      Hi John! First of all, congrats on your win. Keep up the good work! :)

      Horror and thriller are definitely my cup of tea. This poem was my first attempt to capture those genres in my usual play of rhyme. 
      LikeReply2 months ago
  • lovingempath
    What a great story-telling poem! Everything about it is perfect Franny!! I LOVE the ending line!
    LikeReply 22 months ago
    • FLi
      Hello there my friend Robin-hood! Glad to see that you love it. :) Like what I told you before, I felt like this one is totally different from my other works. And yup, this was my first attempt to write something related to horror and thriller which happened to be, my cup of tea.

      Hope to see you back in this month's competition. Don't miss the thrill please, I know you got a lot of poems worthy to be read. Miss you much! :)
       
      LikeReply2 months ago
  • Chrissy.
    It felt like a horror movie condensed into a poem. Brilliant.
    LikeReply 22 months ago
    • FLi
      Happy to see such a positive comment about my work. Thank you! :)
      LikeReply 12 months ago
  • Bev11
    Oooo love it!
    LikeReply 22 months ago
    • FLi
      Thanks a lot for your much appreciated vote. :)
      LikeReply2 months ago

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"Her Eyes" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/180521/her-eyes>.

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