Patience



I saw you once sitting alone in that coffee shop
A moment of silence that made all things stop
I looked at you the way I'll get lost in a galaxy
It's more than enough than what I call - fantasy

I was waiting for my turn to place my order
Dreaming I can stay in this moment forever
I just can't remember the drink that I often buy
I felt like I already died when you passed by

I had the urge to follow you and ask your name
But you vanished so fast like that bullet train
I was left there standing in such a big disappointment
Like a prominent period in an incomplete statement

A century of broken hopes had gone in a blink
Paired with unexplainable sadness that will slowly sink
It's been 50 years since I set my eyes on you
Where you left a riddle in my heart without a clue

Stopping by at this place had been the highlight of my day
Hoping I could see you and maybe say - Hey!
I'll go home not getting my most awaited opportunity
My one and only chance to free myself, emotionally

I wish I could go back and erase that exact incident
So my whole existence can now be different
But I can't change it no matter what I do
So I'll drown myself with caffeine as I wait for you.

About this poem

This poem depicts a person's endless waiting. A pursuit of a dream love's happy ending while being oblivious of its nonexistent beginning.

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Written on November 15, 2023

Submitted by FLi on November 14, 2023

1:21 min read
67

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABB CCDD XXEE FFGG HHBB EEGG
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 1,202
Words 265
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Francelle Ortega

Player of words to form an art, A writer and poet at heart! ❤ more…

All Francelle Ortega poems | Francelle Ortega Books

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Discuss the poem Patience with the community...

4 Comments
  • alanswansea18
    You already know you're good.
    LikeReply2 months ago
  • adam.gutteridge
    I think many of us can relate to your poem Francelle—especially those of a romantic or sentimental disposition.
    It reminded me of a nice passage of writing I once read on a Bob Marley album CD sleeve-note (I must be getting old!).
    It was describing the sentiment behind his fabulous “Waiting in Vain”. I wish I remembered the wording but, it was basically explaining that the guy was more in love with the ‘waiting’ and the possibility of ‘what could be’ than he was with taking the actual steps of making his dreams a reality.
    A fantastic piece of writing Francelle. It really struck a chord with me.
     
    LikeReply 15 months ago
    • FLi
      Hi there Adam, thanks a lot for your kind appreciation regarding my work. Let's all keep the good writing going. :)
      LikeReply5 months ago
  • Jewoo525
    The quaintness of a coffee shop always stirs up old emotions and thoughts- I love it. I had my suspicions it was your poem Francelle when I read the opening line, but I wasn't sure as it wasn't in your signature style. I'm glad to have gotten to read it and to see you enter your other formats of poetry that are also excellent. I am particularly impressed with the diction and specific selection of detail- what you didn't include on purpose, allowing the reader to fill in the gaps. Excellent choices here that add to the rhetoric of the piece.

    Great poem. Keep writing!
     
    LikeReply 26 months ago
    • FLi
      Hi Jewoo, always happy and grateful every time I read your insights about my work. I really admire this act of kindness you consistently display on a mothly basis. Keep it up please. :) And oh! I look forward to read more of your works as well. 
      LikeReply 26 months ago
    • FLi
      *monthly
      LikeReply6 months ago
  • lovingempath
    I love the strong, unreasonable emotion here. It's
    hard to imagine a little incident leaving so much of an impression, but I've had the same thing happen to me/ I love your poem Franny!
    LikeReply 16 months ago
    • FLi
      I'm always thrilled to receive a nice and meaningful comment from a good poet/friend like you, Robin-hood. You and your amazing works served as my main inspiration to keep on writing. :)
      LikeReply 16 months ago

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"Patience" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 17 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/175505/patience>.

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