If We Met Like This

Eric Morales 1998 (Palmdale, CA)

Under a tree a place to rest,
Hidden in the cool shade for the guests.
A small breeze enlightening the scenery,
With the smell of citrus amongst beautiful greenery

Loud laughter laminating, many merry memories,
In this dream time passes by the centuries.

Where a cloud can be whatever perceived,
Where lovers' hands interweave.
A place that could belong to fiction,
Is somewhere that hearts are filled with a new ambition.

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Written on July 26, 2022

Submitted by Váli on May 22, 2023

: 24 sec read
: 25 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	XXAA BB XXCC
Closest metre	Iambic pentameter
Characters	442
Words	81
Stanzas	3
Stanza Lengths	4, 2, 4

Full analysis for If We Met Like This »

Eric Morales

Nickname: Váli -Amateur Poet -Musician: Guitar and bass more…

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cokerrogers
Beautiful imagery that is invokes happiness.
LikeReply 110 months ago
AIDA
Wow, this poem really evokes a sense of peace and tranquility! I can practically hear the rustling of leaves and scent the citrus in the air. The language is lovely and paints a vivid picture of the idyllic spot under the tree. It's easy to get lost in the imagery and emotions conjured up by this writing.

To make this poem even stronger, perhaps the rhythm and cadence could be tweaked a bit. Some of the lines feel a bit longer than others and could benefit from being shortened or broken up into smaller phrases. Additionally, while the poem does a great job of conveying a blissful scene, it could be enhanced with a bit more concrete detail. For example, what kind of tree is it? What kind of citrus is in the air? These small details would help to further immerse the reader in the world you've created.

Overall, great work! This poem is a testament to the soothing and rejuvenating power of nature. more »
LikeReply 111 months ago

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"If We Met Like This" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/159947/if-we-met-like-this>.

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