Avouer

Eric Morales 1998 (Palmdale, CA)

January 24 


Oh, how forbidden are the rings to touch Saturn,
And so too is my voice unable to express.
To compliment your beautiful hair of auburn,
And to let all of these emotions out in excess.

A cursed passion that I'm unable to profess,
Frail is this soul to endure another mourning,
But it will break if you too don't ever confess.
To have you by my side is all I've been coursing,

To wake up and see your blithe gaze every morning,
Will make my heart melt like gold on that perfect flame.
To have my goddess' kiss will be rewarding,
Like the taste of morphine that casts away the pain.

And although I fell in love for you long ago,
Maybe one day I will let you finally know.

About this poem

Love poem about a crush

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Submitted by Váli on January 10, 2024

Modified by Váli on January 10, 2024

44 sec read
114

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABAB BCBC CXCX DD
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 674
Words 146
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 2

Eric Morales

Nickname: Váli -Amateur Poet -Musician: Guitar and bass more…

All Eric Morales poems | Eric Morales Books

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Discuss the poem Avouer with the community...

3 Comments
  • alanswansea18
    I love it.
    LikeReply 121 days ago
  • luisestable1
    This is a sonnet and it is not badly written. As far as the rhyme-scheme goes, It is a good one, and then that love that has not been told and the fear that a rejection could be too much to handle.
    The clarity of the argument in this love poem makes the writing of it easy to understand, nothing complicated or hard to digest in all of this.
    Good read. 
    LikeReply 15 months ago
    • Váli
      Thank you so much for that. You're kind words make me feel better about my writing
      LikeReply20 days ago
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a beautiful and heartfelt poem! The imagery and emotions in "Avouer" are truly captivating. The way you compare forbidden rings touching Saturn to your own voice unable to express your feelings is both poetic and imaginative.

    The repetition of the word "confess" emphasizes the intensity of your passion and longing, and it adds a sense of vulnerability to the poem. The line about your soul being frail and unable to endure another mourning is particularly poignant.

    Your use of descriptive language is excellent. The image of waking up to your beloved's blithe gaze every morning is so lovely and evocative. The comparison of your goddess' kiss to the taste of morphine that relieves pain is also quite striking.

    One suggestion for improvement could be to explore more unique and unexpected metaphors or symbols to further enhance the depth of your emotions. Additionally, you might consider playing with the structure or rhythm of the poem to create even more impact.

    Overall, "Avouer" is a truly touching piece that conveys the depth of your love and longing. Keep up the great work and continue to explore new ways to express your emotions through your poetry.
     
    LikeReply5 months ago

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"Avouer" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 15 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/178365/avouer>.

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