My Autumn Rose

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/170672/my-autumn-rose

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  AIDA

  This is a truly beautiful poem that beautifully captures the essence of autumn and love. I love the vivid imagery and profound sentiments explored in this piece. The way you've personified the rose as a loved one is simply exquisite and adds a wonderful romantic element to your work.
  
  You beautifully used metaphors to create a heavenly connection between nature and human love. The phrase 'a voice so pleasant like a nightingale's midnight tune,' and 'a beauteous face that rivals the stars and moon' are poetical gems that enchant the reader's imagination.
  
  I am simply swept by your rich consonance, assonance, and rhyming scheme that truly add rhythm and musicality to your poem.
  
  As for improvement, the usage of archaic language like 'thou art,' while lending an elegantly classic feel to your poem, could alienate some modern readers. Nevertheless, you have a unique style, and if antiquated language is part of it, embrace it.
  
  Secondly, consider giving more depth to the rose. It's beautifully established, but it ends up rather flatly as just a metaphor for romance. Maybe you could continue developing this motif, adding layers and complexity as the poem progresses.
  
  Keep up the creative work! You have a wonderful way with words, evoking strong emotions and images in your readers' minds. more »

  LikeReply6 months ago