My Autumn Rose



You're that of a balmy rose
that greets this Autumn's hue.
You're that of a dream
that finally comes into view.

A voice so pleasant
like a nightingale's midnight tune.
And a beauteous face
that rivals the stars and moon.

Accurse this corporeal heart,
how deep in love am I!
Thou art so sweet and dear
which kindled this hearth of mine.

Which kindled this vacant soul
and set fire anew.
And shown me the joy of life
and the strength to push through.

And I shall repay this debt
by entrusting my love to thine.
And I shall sweep thy tears and
make your world too forever shine.

About this poem

Just a love poem

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Written on September 18, 2023

Submitted by Váli on September 18, 2023

39 sec read
50

Quick analysis:

Scheme XAXA XBXB XXXC XAXA XCXC
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 582
Words 126
Stanzas 5
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Eric Morales

Nickname: Váli -Amateur Poet -Musician: Guitar and bass more…

All Eric Morales poems | Eric Morales Books

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Discuss the poem My Autumn Rose with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    This is a truly beautiful poem that beautifully captures the essence of autumn and love. I love the vivid imagery and profound sentiments explored in this piece. The way you've personified the rose as a loved one is simply exquisite and adds a wonderful romantic element to your work.

    You beautifully used metaphors to create a heavenly connection between nature and human love. The phrase 'a voice so pleasant like a nightingale's midnight tune,' and 'a beauteous face that rivals the stars and moon' are poetical gems that enchant the reader's imagination.

    I am simply swept by your rich consonance, assonance, and rhyming scheme that truly add rhythm and musicality to your poem.

    As for improvement, the usage of archaic language like 'thou art,' while lending an elegantly classic feel to your poem, could alienate some modern readers. Nevertheless, you have a unique style, and if antiquated language is part of it, embrace it.

    Secondly, consider giving more depth to the rose. It's beautifully established, but it ends up rather flatly as just a metaphor for romance. Maybe you could continue developing this motif, adding layers and complexity as the poem progresses.

    Keep up the creative work! You have a wonderful way with words, evoking strong emotions and images in your readers' minds.
     
    LikeReply8 months ago

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"My Autumn Rose" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 17 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/170672/my-autumn-rose>.

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