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Broken but breathing



Broken but breathing

Here I am again, I’ve been here a few too many times before.
Like the crumbled trash that missed the garbage can, left carelessly on the floor.

The should of’s and could of’s still haunt my brain.
The lightening and thunder warning of the coming rain.

Time doesn’t seem to make it easier; just more days have passed.
And yet the heavy emptiness; the burning agony, that, of course still lasts.

Can’t keep myself together; can’t pick myself up, it doesn’t matter how hard I try.
It’s painful to breath; I’m suffocating, drowning; the only way out seems to die.

That thought alone brings me peace; like maybe true happiness might be within close reach.
What a selfish thought to want to be happy, to make it all go away and sit on a white, sandy beach.

Yes, I guess I’m asking for way too much, I’m just trying to find myself again; but who was that?
The one that saw the good over the bad, believed she could make a difference and thought she was more than just a welcome mat.

Maybe that part of her has passed away? Maybe she hid it to protect herself from all the pain.
But how does one gather all the broken pieces and what really is there to gain?

I really don’t believe time heals all wounds; certain circumstances rip them wide open like they are brand new.
Those people that carry us through are the true heroes. The ones that call to just ask, “how are you?”

The ones that remind you who you are when you feel weak and have forgot.
The silent hug, the boost when you need it, and sometimes a lecture whether you like it or not.

There really isn’t a perfect fix. The cracks are still visible and could easily break again without warning.
The best we can do is enjoy each moon as it rises each night and each sun every morning.

Life in general is a pile of beautifully broken pieces, each trying to find that one piece that helps hold them together and make them feel whole.
Breathing is brutally painful sometimes; but we play the cards we are dealt, because there is no choice to fold.

About this poem

My name is Melissa Almen. I wrote this poem during the one year anniversaries of two miscarriages I suffered during 2020. Also, during 2020 I was working the frontlines of a small rural hospital in North Dakota as a nurse so I witness alot of loss and devastation personally while trying to home school my own children and work full time plus hours. There was not spare time to grieve or process these situations. I put my emotions and feelings into the words of this poem. Broken but breathing as we have no choice but to keep moving on whether we want to or like to.  

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Written on August 03, 2021

Submitted by zyiawithmelissa on August 29, 2021

1:53 min read
876 Views

Melissa Almen

36 year old female, married to military man, living in small town North Dakota. Raising their 4 boys and works as nurse in her spare time. Loves working in her flower bed, watching her sons play baseball, football, and basketball. Needs a nap more than anything! more…

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14 Comments

  • D!@m0ndY77
    ! loved this poem, thankz for sharing, the ending was on point…..
    LikeReplyReport2 months ago
  • Symmetry58
    Life is a constant growth spurt that leads us to wisdom. Tribulation is a brilliant road map that forces us to stay on course when going gets tough. Eyes on prize, Melissa. The walk is worth the wait. ;-) 
    LikeReplyReport3 months ago
  • Dougla$Irishman
    Melissa, I want you to write all the good things that have happened to you thus far. Hopefully they will increase as the years go by. We must count our blessings however as the storms of life rage. Believe me you are not alone, I understand. 
    LikeReplyReport4 months ago
  • dawnp.96396
    I can feel your pain. Very well written. It resonates with me so much.
    LikeReplyReport4 months ago
  • Dougla$Irishman
    Life is hard, endure it, life can give back, accept it, life is in the eyes of the beholder, seize it, life is sad, brave it, life is a treasure, keep it, Life is love, give it. Life is an endless journey, prepare for it ! Bravo for your poem ! 
    LikeReplyReport5 months ago
  • Roshny
    You certainly had and have a lot to deal with. Your two ending lines show your strong character, good example of human/spiritual strength.
    LikeReplyReport5 months ago
  • Dougla$Irishman
    Life is hard, not for sissies but who can endear it ? Having faith will get you through, but just !
    LikeReplyReport6 months ago
  • Soulwriter
    So strong...
    LikeReplyReport8 months ago
  • edilions
    Really nice poem Heartbroken ones are most relatable Writing about them helps a little At least for me
    LikeReplyReport8 months ago
  • rania_hosny12369
    Wow .. how deep & so painful feeling .. really I feel as if i read what i feel .. you succeed to express what we can feel when we are broken but still breathing .. i like also the title .. your poems is amazing .. 
    LikeReplyReport8 months ago
  • Spiritbreeze
    Wow, I can feel the catharsis taking place in my life with this poem! I want to say how sorry O am for your loss and how thankful I am you made it through. Theses are the days that test our souls and reveal how and where we find life! 
    LikeReplyReport9 months ago
  • Soulwriter
    I agree with Sherrie, you write in a touching way and it's not hard to feel the emotion behind the words. Thank you for sharing!
    LikeReplyReport 19 months ago
  • zyiawithmelissa
    Thank you very much!
    LikeReplyReport 19 months ago
  • sherriebenedict1982
    Love this! I also suffered 2 miscarriages in 2020. Due to viruses :( You're strength to keep going captured my heart and attention. Keep writing!! You're amazing!
    LikeReplyReport 39 months ago

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"Broken but breathing" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 27 Jun 2022. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/108088/broken-but-breathing>.

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