Beautiful Ashes

The magic of that pure, beautiful white stick.
Then the flick of the lighter,causing a gorgeous red, yellow flame.
It brings me peace and solitude.
Watch that clean white stick change colors and slowing disappear right before your eyes.
The ashes on the end fall and flutter to the wind.
I can feel that burn, the sting each time I inhale.
That burn and sting is what I crave most.
I exhale to see the circle of blue, purple and grey smoke in all its beauty.
I’m reminded to slow my breathing and enjoy the burn, the sting, the pain.
Enjoy? Do I enjoy the pain? I guess I do.
The pain is a sense of punishment and reminds me of lessons learned.
It seems to be exactly what I have earned.
That burn, the pain, the sting is what I need to keep me sane.
To ground me to this place. It also slows my thinking and eventually I relax.
So I continue to breathe in and breathe out once more.