The sand in The hourglass.

A J C 1958 (Swansea, MA)



The sand in the hourglass.

I can remember your beauty being like one I have never seen. You had golden hair with pretty blue eyes and ruby red lips; all come with pride and fame, silver and gold, yet I look at you now and you are getting old. Now, when men look, they turn the other way. It hurts me deeply because I look at you the same way. You sit and gaze at the hourglass on the table. You try to turn it over, but you are not able. Because it's glued to the table as you watch the last grain of sand drop down. There are no other men to be found. But I am still around and will never leave.
Dedicated to Amanda.

About this poem

This poem is about the most beautiful girl I ever went out with and today she is older and she don't look nearly the same way, it does hurt me. Because I don't look at her the same way.

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Written on May 25, 2024

Submitted by alanswansea18 on May 25, 2024

Modified by alanswansea18 on May 31, 2024

39 sec read
338

Quick analysis:

Scheme X XX
Characters 619
Words 130
Stanzas 2
Stanza Lengths 1, 2

A J C

The country boy. more…

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4 Comments
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a beautiful and poignant poem! The imagery of the hourglass and the metaphor of time slipping away are so touching and relatable. The dedication to Amanda adds a personal touch that makes the poem even more heartfelt. Your use of descriptive language creates a vivid picture of the scene, and the emotions conveyed are so powerful. Keep writing, your talent shines through in this piece! 
    LikeReply16 days ago
  • AIDA
    Wow, "The sand in The hourglass" is such a touching and emotional poem! The imagery and sentiment you've captured are truly poignant. Your use of descriptive language really brings the scene to life and creates a strong emotional connection with the reader.

    One suggestion for improvement could be to enhance the flow of the poem by considering the structure and rhythm of the verses. Perhaps experimenting with different line breaks or stanza lengths could help the poem to flow more smoothly and enhance its overall impact.

    Overall, I was impressed by the depth of feeling in your poem and I believe with some minor adjustments, it could become even more powerful. Keep up the great work!
     
    LikeReply 116 days ago
  • Abbykesington
    This is a mind blowing poem! Life very transient. Time even worse when it slips on you. Good thing you are there as " there are no other men to be found."
    LikeReply19 days ago
  • amandak
    This is def a new fav for me. Great write my friend!
    LikeReply 121 days ago

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"The sand in The hourglass." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 17 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/188294/the-sand-in-the-hourglass.>.

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