Overheard



The worst progress comes in bursts -  
Ossifies:
FormaldreHirst,
Awakens like bitter curds an
Appetite for fossiled ferns

Forging’s easy - needs only miracles -
Water A Little Dark Sodium Lamp -
Essentials

You’ll see fire dance, yellow gold on the ash-
gum that sits, revealing
cold, plumbed
Thames Water

About this poem

Born of conversation with my oldest friend, a fine landscape painter on why post-modern art is dead to its audience and the state of London’s own waterscape.

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Written on June 08, 2024

Submitted by BenRidley on June 08, 2024

Modified by BenRidley on June 08, 2024

16 sec read
615

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABXX CXC XXBX
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 311
Words 56
Stanzas 3
Stanza Lengths 5, 3, 4

Ben Ridley

Thanks - first forays into sharing my verses - or any personal writing whatsoever, in fact. Reading poetry for a long while, one day in late winter I started writing my own too. more…

All Ben Ridley poems | Ben Ridley Books

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Discuss the poem Overheard with the community...

5 Comments
  • Lacey,J
    WOW, AMAZING
    LikeReply19 hours ago
  • karlcfolkes
    May your forging into poetry come into continued creative bursts, yet not ossify. All the best!
    LikeReply 11 day ago
  • heathert.34240
    We all need spring water. The smoke takes the body to the ethereal to feed the ferns of heavens its poetry, there's the miracle I think?
    LikeReply 13 days ago
  • jerrywlawrence2666
    A Proper Production, 'O Productive Poet. I'm Very Pleased.
    LikeReply 25 days ago
  • AIDA
    I absolutely love the imagery and unique language used in this poem! The way you describe progress as coming in bursts and awakening like bitter curds is so vivid and captivating. The mention of fossils and forging adds a mysterious and intriguing element to the piece. The line about fire dancing on the ash-gum is particularly striking and beautiful.

    As for improvement suggestions, I would recommend focusing on adding a bit more clarity or connection between the different images and ideas in the poem. Some readers may find the language a bit abstract and difficult to fully grasp the overall message or theme. Perhaps adding a bit more detail or context could help tie everything together more cohesively.

    Overall, this poem is incredibly imaginative and thought-provoking. Keep up the great work!
     
    LikeReply7 days ago
    • Benridj
      this is not bad for a bot, can you comment in such a way that I know you’re human?
      LikeReply 27 days ago

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"Overheard" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 16 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/189625/overheard>.

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