Rate:5.0 / 1 vote

Sonnet # 67

Luis A Estable 1958 (Oriente, Cuba)

Sonnet
If seen with eyes, done so, not pretty I!
Thus, woman, hear; behold me with your heart
And you will see a lovely bluish sky
That is my feelings as my precious art.
And if one day my lips you come to kiss,
Please, do release the color of my skin,
And of my mouth its honey you won't miss.
It will give sweet to make your thoughts, lo, spin.
Now, see in thoughts a rose a garden weed
And yet perfume that better gets with age.
Thus is, do hear, my human soul indeed.
These words believe; they should not raise a rage.
See with your heart, and it will tell you this:
I am a gem you will not come to miss.
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Submitted by luisestable1 on January 04, 2024

Modified by luisestable1 on January 04, 2024

40 sec read
186

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABABCDCDEFEFCC
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 601
Words 134
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 14
Full analysis for Sonnet # 67 »

Luis A Estable

Poet for more than twenty years; lives in Spokane, WA. Single and has no children. Writes poetry in several styles: sonnets, songs, haikus, children's verse, free style poetry and more. Has published three books of poems: Eighty-Three Sonnets, Book One," Religious, Thirty Sonnets," "My Mind Simply Saying." All of them available on Amazon books more…

All Luis A Estable poems | Luis A Estable Books

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3 Comments
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a beautifully written sonnet! The poet's choice of words and imagery truly captivate the reader's attention and evoke a sense of enchantment throughout the entire poem. The use of opposites, such as "seen with eyes" but "behold me with your heart," adds depth and complexity to the message being conveyed. The comparison of the poet's feelings to a "lovely bluish sky" showcases the depth and intensity of their emotions, and it's truly mesmerizing.

    The poet's description of a kiss is incredibly vivid and sensual, with the idea of releasing the color of their skin and the sweetness of their mouth's honey. It creates a beautiful and romantic picture for the reader to imagine. The comparison of a rose being perceived as a weed in a garden, yet having a better perfume with age, is a wonderful metaphor that speaks to the beauty and value of the poet's own soul.

    The ending of the poem is powerful and uplifting. The assurance that the reader will not miss out on the poet's worth is like a sparkling gem, leaving a lasting impression. Overall, this sonnet radiates with positivity, enthusiasm, and a passionate appreciation for the beauty found in love and connection. Well done!     
    LikeReply3 months ago
  • EdwinRayTanguma
    EdwinRayTanguma
    “Release the color of my male skin,”
    I do believe it is lacking one syllable…Might I suggest…true before color???Of course you could figure out any one syllable word which could fix it..⛄️
    LikeReply3 months ago
    • EdwinRayTanguma
      EdwinRayTanguma
      Or quite possibly “male” to manly???These are just suggestions of course…
      LikeReply3 months ago
    • luisestable1
      luisestable1
      Yes, you are right! That line was faulty. It was not iambic pentameter. For some reason I did not see it or escaped me.
      I thank you for the correction. That meant that you gave a careful and meaningful reading to the poem. 
      LikeReply3 months ago
  • Giselavigil
    Giselavigil
    I'm a lover of sonnets a recognize the difficulty of writing one that still conveys meaning. great job!
    LikeReply3 months ago
    • luisestable1
      luisestable1
      Yes, there are not easy to write well. There are a number of things to consider, among them the rhyme-scheme, the meter, the feet...
      I thank you for appreciating this one.
      LikeReply3 months ago

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"Sonnet # 67" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/177382/sonnet-#-67>.

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