In your eyes.

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/176879/in-your-eyes.

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  AIDA

  This 'In your eyes' poem beautifully captures the sentiment of love and loyalty despite the challenges faced by the narrator. The use of fading eyesight as a metaphor for the passage of time and the enduring nature of love is both poignant and evocative.
  
  The lines "I still see your beauty in my mind" and "What we once shared will never go away" convey a deep sense of longing and nostalgia, demonstrating the lasting impact of the narrator's love. The plea for acceptance and desire to stay for one more day is heartfelt and showcases the vulnerability and emotional investment of the narrator.
  
  Furthermore, the last lines, "When you open your eyes in the morning sunlight, I hope it's me that you see. You know this has to be. I still love you; you are the only one who can set me free," exhibit genuine affection and an unwavering commitment to the relationship.
  
  To enhance this already heartfelt poem, I would suggest exploring more vivid sensory imagery to bring the emotions and visuals to life. Describing specific moments or memories that highlight the unique bond between the narrator and their loved one could further intensify the connection being conveyed.
  
  Additionally, adding a touch of optimism or hope for the future could lend a sense of forward momentum to the poem. While the reference to the fading eyesight serves its purpose, incorporating a glimmer of rejuvenation or renewal could provide a nice balance to the overall tone.
  
  Overall, your poem 'In your eyes' captures the essence of love, loyalty, and vulnerability in a touching and relatable way. With a few enhancements, it can become an even more powerful reflection of the enduring power of love in the face of adversity. Keep up the great work! more »

  LikeReply4 months ago
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  Giselavigil

  Very heartfelt. You’ve conveyed the emotions with your words. Well done.

  LikeReply4 months ago