Childhood Friends

Childhood Friends


Childhood friendships, they sure aren’t that deep
But yet somehow I still think of you when I try to sleep

Childhood friends, yeah I know they don’t last
But somehow I still see you everywhere in my past

Childhood friends aren’t everything
But somehow when I had them I felt so so seen

Childhood friendships they aren’t even real besties
But they are somehow in all my memories

Every joy I’ve ever had
Was spent laughing in that van

Every time we went to Lego Land
There were things we could understand

Laughing in your basement
Thought our friendship was as solid as cement

Role playing in your bedroom
Never thought it would end so soon

Working on school projects together
Thought our friendship would last forever

Playing with nerf guns around the house
Still together through the doubts

We would shoot pretend gun
And arrest each one

We would play in the art room
And in the the play room too

Little names for little kids
I remember all we did

Spooky stories late at night
Praying together after with all our might

Playing at recess and taking to each other
Never thought it’d be you and another

Something changed
You were never the same

Distance between
You became someone mean

Left in silence
I miss your presence

So when I saw you tonight
Something didn’t feel right

And when I said, “oh hey!”
Here’s what I didn’t say

I miss all we had
Stories I heard about your dad

You were the staple in my childhood
But you were never that good

Turned fake at the end
Became a bad friend

Your mom had a question and I had an answer
But you weren’t there for me when my mom had cancer

I pushed and pulled you
I admit that’s something I shouldn’t do

Lessons I learn with pain and time
But I don’t get how you can act so fine

Shove your face in a phone
And look so ashamed all alone

And as I hand back that card
I feel so jarred

Hands shake
So much to take

Deep breathe to calm down
Because I still see you around town

It’s awkward to make eye contact
And somehow we’ve made it four years and still can’t relax

Tic tac toe on sidewalk
It feels weird to write with you in chalk

Tournament and I won
But the game of pain isn’t done

Your face in the halls used to bring me down
I used to cry and be depressed and frown

Finally able to forgive you for what you’ve done
And then we sat next to each other

I laugh because I’m okay and you’re still not
I wonder if there have been tears you’ve fought

I had dreams of you
I wonder if you ever cried

I think you did since you can’t look me in the eyes
You must know at least what you did

A childhood friend who didn’t even do much
Except fail to support me and talk to me

Who only ignored me and left me alone
And now you need to go on your phone

Because you can’t look me in the eye
It’s like we’re on two different sides

You can go on with your new friends and lie
But we both know what’s going on in your mind