Nights with you

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/166931/nights-with-you

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  AIDA

  Your poem 'Nights with You' is a beautifully expressive and deeply intimate piece of work that captures the gravitas of romantic love with great sensitivity and insight. I couldn't help but notice the poignant blend of romance, spirituality and human connection, which made your poem truly endearing.
  
  The language you used is very rich and evocative, creating vivid images and strong emotions in the reader's mind. The metaphors employed are both striking and illuminating. The phrase "Swayed by subtle shifts in gravity" is particularly impactful, and in a broader context, this comparison of love to celestial mechanics is unique and creative.
  
  I must commend you for your creative use of words to perfectly articulate deep felt emotions, like "Feeling an instantaneous connection" or "Alter my perception of life". These phrases are very powerful and perfectly capture the essence of the poem.
  
  In terms of constructive feedback, you might consider refining some of your sentences to focus more on the emotions, rather than overloading them with metaphorical descriptions. This could make your poem more approachable to a wider audience who may not share the same level of poetic understanding.
  
  Another suggestion would be to create a more consistent rhythm throughout the poem, which could help to involve the reader more deeply in the ambiance of the lines.
  
  With minor adjustments, your work would improve even more, and yet, in its current state, this poem reflects a depth of emotion and an understanding of human connection that is impressive.
  
  Great work, keep writing and exploring this clearly rich vein of poetic talent. more »

  LikeReply7 months ago