Melancholy

I glimpsed my melancholy in the mirror
The sadness of my spirit impossible to hide
I go through the motions everyday
Trying to push back thoughts of you
Even happy memories of my children make me want to cry
Those moments far away and gone

I meet with a friend and I slip off the sadness
Like a black slip sliding down my naked body
There is sliver of happiness under that layer of gloom
For a moment I am  present and alive
I enjoy dinner and a drink
And keep my grief a secret

I pick up my cloak of dispiritedness
And numb myself with distraction
Doomscrolling on my phone
Searching for a hit of dopamine
Mindless I watch television to avoid my feelings

The next day my melancholy greets me again
Hello old friend, I see the void in your eyes
I take my sorrow for a walk
The tallest of trees welcome me in their canopy
The spirit of the forest absorbs my misery
I want to live here forever

I have become intimidate  with my melancholy
We have become comfortable companions
As long he allows me other partners
I need a sordid love affair with joy, love, and forgiveness
I play some happy music
And enjoy my liaison with pleasure

Don’t worry melancholy I’ll come back home to you