Analysis of Ascending Descent

I’ve been alone while straying from my past.
Forced into isolation while timelines collapsed.
I’m half in this world, but not of it.
It’s in me, but glitched til I’m mentally fit.

Tremendous cognitive rewires.
Is that why my brain is on fire?
Or spirit, schized, radiation, or virus?
They’re all connected; it’s maddeningly pious.

I’ll articulate nonsense to make you crazy
And it’ll leave your mind and soul feeling hazy.
Coronized with a crown, or mental infection?
Veils block out my words to hold an objection.

I’m sanely insane, can’t help but reshape the insanely sane.
The cure must be to erase thoughts from the brain.
But I know energy can’t be destroyed.
It just creates ripples in the infinite void.
Needing understanding to be understood,
I know I would and could, but not if I should.

My words are inviting.
The madness is enticing.
The craving for endless more,
Attempting to find reality’s core,
But Sophia is an alluring whore,
And I can’t tell what she has in store.
She’s bruised my psyche beyond being sore,
Causing endless thinking and love-hating this chore.
Seeking the ancient’s favorite lore,
Take small doses of wisdom to drizzle, not pour.
I’m forever searching for the exit door.
This is what it means to let your mind soar,
Because the divine is crazy, but never a bore.

Is this divine flow?
Is my aura an insane glow?
Bordering God and Satan, dancing toe to toe.

I’m signed to the Scales but can’t find the balance.
I feel just like Alice, but people are blind and I’m calloused.
Am I split between worlds or is it internal?
Maybe I’m meant for the Ordered Fraternal.

I hope they serve the highest good for all
And it’s not a trap resulting in another fall.
Perhaps morality falls on their shoulders.
Just like Atlas, they carry this collective boulder.

From darkness to light,
Working in the shadows to do what’s right.
I’m full of love and don’t want to fight,
Meaning my own illusion is keeping me in flight.
I feel Death’s gaze, and fuck is it tight.
If I’m at the bottom, then how can I see from this height?

It must be inverted
Which means the truth is perverted.
And if the secret truth is what sets us free,
Then perhaps I’m seeking the death of me.

Am I being guided, led astray, recruited, or rebooted?
I’ve got too many seeds sown and already fruited.
I can’t tell what’s real, so it’s all or nothing.
In which case, why am I running?