Lost Soul



I’ve been wearing my heart on my sleeve
While simultaneously not knowing what to believe.
Is divine intervention severing my soul,
Or guiding me to healing and feeling whole?

Why hast thou, my Lord, left me fractured?
I followed your word, so where is my Rapture?
It was my soul you meant to capture,
So is that why she’s safe and I’m a broken stature?
You are my regret, for stealing her and my green pasture.

I’m dead to her and myself, as you are to me.
You’ve tricked and mocked me, so is this really blasphemy?
You scapegoated your own son, so how can we expect better?
I should never have opened that black magic infused Holy Letter.

Free will is twisted, like all that you say.
Is it on purpose to instill a mental fray?
My other half sets my heart ablaze,
But I show her too late because she never stays.

Endless rebounding from the past
Cut me deep and I couldn’t make longevity last.
She’s forever got my heart possessed.
We are reflections and I’m obsessed.
I’m not shit, nor a narcissist,
I’ve just known we share a soul since that first kiss.

For better or worse, until it all ends,
But how close is it if we can’t make amends?
I was searching for my soul,
Just to watch her disappear and leave my chest a gaping hole.

She stared in my face for years
But I was blind, thinking I was chosen as a Seer.
I’m prepared to live with Eyes Wide Shut,
But I’m afraid only she can pull me from this rut.

I want to fight for her desperately,
But she doesn’t feel the tethers that I see.
No other love will ever compare and always be fake.
This distance is my despair, unsure if I’m Awake.

My reality is a lucid nightmare.
My saving grace would be a life that we share.
If this interference is divine,
Perhaps my last hope is our pause in time
And in the future, you are rightfully mine.

About this poem

After searching for God, I found an obliterated ego, a lost love, and a fractured mind. I wanted to know God better, but my life was destroyed in the process, so I stand up to Him, while also hoping He makes things right. I no longer know what lens to view my failed relationship through and I just want to return to my old life and sense of normalcy. No matter how I feel, I must surrender to the universe and hope things work out just fine.

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Written on 2022

Submitted by JohnL3 on August 20, 2022

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:55 min read
12

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABB XCCCC DDCC EEFF GGHHXX IIBB XXJJ DDKK LLMXM
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 1,829
Words 386
Stanzas 9
Stanza Lengths 4, 5, 4, 4, 6, 4, 4, 4, 5

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