the sacrificial self

in the mourning routine,
I hear your sad sullen song of yearning
you gave up your youth and beauty
to keep me fed
a roof over my head

I heard him f*ck*ng you
in the next room
and your tearful thanks
as he simply washed off
and said nothing

I saw him grab you by the hair
the tuft on top of your head
and drag you away
I said nothing
I did nothing

Now, if I sacrifice myself
in the name of common sense
and common wealth
does that mean I'd still be damned to hell?

If I cut myself in anguish
to stop the pain
does it mean that I'll descend
into the devil's plane
to be tortured
to be spiritually slain

I know that it's all a game
I know that no two worlds
are not the same