strawberry shortcake

I may be dead inside
but I can light you up from within
I may have been left behind
to rot
but I'm still livin'
regulate my baited breath
until you wake
I dread the day
you'll make me miss you
I know you must be on your way
in tears and trickling
tattered in tears, in venus' fur
she won't beat me
you're my girl tonight
at least in my mind
and for the time being
I've got nothing you want
to push me away
my touch is as worthless
as the sweet things
I sometimes say
would you hold my hand?
I can barely stand
I'm feeling a little dizzy
you set something off within me
though I swore i wouldn't envy
I'm seething
you'd submit to him
I'll rise up like a serpent
Squeeze out his wind
there ain't no sugar lips
to kiss, my cupcake
your sweetheart
is already staked and I'm
carved with a cliche charm
hard-candy colorful
from the cardboard box
trinkets of costume jewelry
admiring you secretly
but you knew
all along it was me
if I cry I'll convince you
I'm incapable and impotent
resuscicate your passionless defense
repellent from my caress
I love that devil girl
in the red dress
You throw a stone, I'll cut you down
I'll adorn the brand, the aleph crown
Lilitu Incubus draped in the dreaded
Adramelech's gown
do you like it
when I'm whisperin'
weepin'
keepin' you from
drinkin'
dreamin'
sleepin' the sorrow away
until you stop breathin'
I've been there with you
sinking into Eden
I like what your thinkin'
seduce me
I'm screaming
holding hands
I feel you're grasping
as if to say let me crash
you crushed me up
and cut the lines
"I'll come back for another day-dream"
smashed and unabashed shame
push me away
I'll withdraw my disdain
would you touch me?
take the tingling and trembling
out of the pain
make me a man for a moment
tell me there's been a change of plans
and that I might see you back
at my doorstep again
our unlawful love could
last me 'til then
I would decorate
in case you'd like to holiday
at my hiding place
my hideaway
it's cold outside
then let's share the same comfort
and comforter
lights ablaze
from the fireplace
the pre-lit tree display...
then I wake in black-out
two hours from day
and I can't feel your imprint
in the blanket where you laid
stumble through the doorway
stub my toes and smash my face
no one, nowhere to be found
no way...
no love notes or hatemail
to trace
you never came
I can't stand
seeing your face
in this destitute
desolate empty space
I'm your lonely derranged
despicable basket case
every day
takes me back to a place
where your loveless embrace
could convince me
to surrender my hate
just a shadow
a spectre
a wraith of romance
your multi-orgasmic
protoplasm propagates
my blonde flaxen babe
from the abyss
my black widow
she watches and waits
a glint of her gifts
and the passion
evaporates