Suffocating

Suffocating is not the verb
Neither is drowning or being unheard
I don’t have the words to describe the feeling
Of surviving life and feeling cheated
In the end, what is mental health?
If everything you say gets met with doubt
The problems you share get met with melancholy
Because you’re a good mask wearer...... apparently
You never are able to show the truth
They say you take everything as misconstrued
I think to myself, maybe that’s why
Maybe what I think I’m feeling
Is actually a lie
What if I can’t read myself
What if my feelings are full of doubt
How do I know if my feelings are real
When my whole life I’ve been told
“It’s not a big deal”
“Suck it up” they used to say
“Lots of people live this way”
“You’re so blessed with a roof over your head”
“You even have a room with your own bed”
A bed and a room does not make a home
It doesn’t mean you’re safe from those who are “grown”.
Not when they drink as the sun goes down