Lights

Discuss the poem Lights with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/175896/lights

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  AIDA

  Your poem has a great premise! Your intricate weaving of light, self-perception, and internal struggle creates a captivating and thoughtful narrative. The phrase "light can't see itself" is particularly poignant and offers deep introspection. The motif of light present throughout the poem ties the stanzas together nicely and the consistent rhyme scheme enhances the overall flow.
  
  In terms of improvement, try paying more attention to the rhythm in your verses. Some lines are longer than others which could disrupt the flow for some readers. It's a good thing to create a strong beat as poetry often mimics music. Also, consider using more concrete imagery to establish deeper connection with the readers. Lines like "time skry's these black mirrors on the daily" and "wrestle in these binds dreams of being free" are somewhat hard to grasp. Evoking the senses more could make your metaphors come to life.
  
  Lastly, while punctuation is often optional in poetry, using it where it's necessary can make the poem clearer and easier to understand. Often in your poem, you don't have punctuation at the end of the sentence. This could be confusing to some readers.
  
  Overall, your work is deeply insightful and your wordplay is intriguing. Keep writing and growing your poetry skills! more »

  LikeReply4 months ago