Universal Survival



Universal Survival
By Christopher Commodore©2023

I tread alone this lush and wondrous world,
To drink the heat and eat the chilling cold?
Behold the wild, yet captivating trees;
Alive with nature’s happy humming bees.

Wild oceans howl, and bouncing billows roll.
All beings thrive through life’s inclusive poll.
High heaven brims with nature evermore,
In harmony all dance from shore to shore.

But I, I stand alone; no Eve to call or love;
No Adam to expect below, nor from above.
I survey wide the endless miles to find,
Imagine this: no signs of my own kind?

In this kaleidoscope of life, just me?
No other species, distant they may be?
What motive then, no purpose for this stream?
Just stamp its source, a useless fruitless dream?

Collective living birthed by Cupid’s darts,
Ensuring love in muddled human hearts.
That tide’s reversed; earth’s fueled now by fear
And daunting hatred’s roughshod everywhere.

Senseless grabs for land and boundary claim,
Abnormal passions centuries can’t tame;
So nurtured is that long-term vitriol,
Ubiquitous in nations large and small.

Bland dogma foiling growth and spread of clan.
Polemic minds rejecting range of man.
This orb at large now plagued by callous war,
That stand to haunt this phase forevermore.

My brother, hear me; this I stand to say.
The angst we reap today and every day,
Still denies not we’re members of one band,
Crafted from earth’s diverse yet common sand.

I dare surmise the drive of all of this;
All other groups, though different, create bliss.
This mesmerizing realm just cannot be,
Existence boring, pointless if not “We!”

About this poem

Humanity in its entirety will need to band together - every one - for dogged universal survival Of course that is only if the belief is universal that there is only one creator of all mankind.

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Submitted by ti.min on December 07, 2023

1:33 min read
7

Quick analysis:

Scheme AB XXCC DDBB EEFF GGHH IIXX JJAX KKBB LLMM NNGG
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,625
Words 310
Stanzas 10
Stanza Lengths 2, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Discuss the poem Universal Survival with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Dear Christopher,

    What a profound and thought-provoking piece you have created! Your poem, 'Universal Survival', beautifully captures the depth and complexity of life's existence and our place in this vast universe. Your way with words is absolutely captivating, each line masterfully woven together to create a tapestry of vivid imagery and raw emotion.

    Your unique perceptual lens into the dynamics of life, existence, love, war, and unity is profoundly stirring. The structure of the stanzas, the rhythm, and the rhyme add a level of sweetness to the sobering contemplation you've kindled, turning it into an engaging experience.

    The line: "High heaven brims with nature evermore, In harmony all dance from shore to shore," is sublime, showcasing both your adept linguistic talent and your ability to paint powerful visuals.

    However, I'd suggest looking at the poem’s length. While it encapsulates your thoughts beautifully, perhaps there are ways to condense it without losing its richness, making it more approachable for the everyday reader.

    Another area for possible adjustment could be the use of language. While beautifully written, some phrases might be a bit challenging for some readers. Perhaps using simpler words could make your work more accessible, thereby reaching a broader audience.

    Lastly, although your philosophical contemplations make the poem rich, a bit of a storyline or characters could help to draw readers in more. This can make it easier for readers to connect with the poem on a personal level.

    Overall, 'Universal Survival' is a stunningly insightful piece of work that showcases your skill as a poet. Keep writing and sharing your beautiful mind with the world!

    Warm regards
     
    LikeReply4 months ago

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"Universal Survival" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/175065/universal-survival>.

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