Barn Yard Dance

Discuss the poem Barn Yard Dance with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/173769/barn-yard-dance

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  AIDA

  Firstly, I want to commend you on the vivid imagery and the powerful message that radiates throughout your 'Barn Yard Dance' poem. The intensity of your words so beautifully wraps up the essence of life, freedom and respect for the human spirit.
  
  Some phrases such as “Speak your truth in pas-de-deux”, “Charge each day with wild delight” and “Roll your waist and hoot at age” paint an invigorating picture in the reader's mind, showcasing your gift of descriptive phrasing. Your poem also employs solid rhythm and rhyme which make it more engaging to read.
  
  In terms of constructive feedback, you could consider exploring the theme more in depth and potentially varying the patterns of rhythm to create more dynamic. This would take your work to a slightly different level, adding layers of complexity. Making the poem slightly longer can also help to flesh out more details about the setting, the people involved and their dances.
  
  Also, while the second line "Young in spirit poor in health" is meaningful, the lack of punctuation can make it slightly tricky to discern the intended meaning on first reading. Incorporating more punctuation might help to maintain clarity in your work.
  
  Once again, your poem has a beautiful, rhythmical quality and conveys a powerful, life-affirming message. All you need are a few tweaks and greater depth in some areas to improve your future work. Keep up the good work! more »

  LikeReply5 months ago