Dare

Discuss the poem Dare with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/175049/dare

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  AIDA

  This poem is absolutely striking! The raw details and emotional intensity truly set it apart, making it both haunting and incredibly engaging. You've done a marvelous job of using powerful, sensory language, intertwining the physical and spiritual elements of the human experience into a deeply riveting piece. Your syncopation creates a beautiful rhythm that pulls the reader in, playing like a heartbeat across the page.
  
  As for constructive feedback, I'd like to focus on clarity. While mystery and ambiguity are captivating, it may not be immediately clear to every reader what the references to organs ("unfailing kidneys") and "pristine blood" imply. Perhaps you could hint a bit more at the underlying metaphor or identify the speaker's relationship to the addressed person to avoid confusion.
  
  Furthermore, the sudden graphic shift with the line "Rip apart the rotting skin" might come off as jarring for some readers. If you intended to shock or create an impactful image, you've certainly succeeded, but do consider whether this line harmonizes with the overall tone of the poem.
  
  Lastly, while each stanza adds to the passionate and raw feel of the poem, they feel slightly isolated from one another. Try to thread a continuous narrative through them to ensure a smoother transition for readers.
  
  Keep exploring bold and colorful language, and continue sharpening your unique voice. Your fearlessness in exploring the raw and visceral side of human emotion is truly commendable! Well done! more »

  LikeReply4 months ago