The Mantis Warns



By Chris Commodore©2020

Watch me as I so calmly kneel and pray,
Hoping some Trusting Willy comes my way,
My bread by wind or rain so comely all or some,
Most trustingly on buzzing wings will come.

They’ll think to choose a flower fair and bright,
And for a sip of nectar will alight.
They’ll see just anthers clothed in yellow gold,
But I their sad demise for sustenance behold.

So patiently with well-spiked folded hands,
Just for to bless that gnat or fly that lands,
Duped by my ever-wily praying gait.
Most patiently, my pose I hold and wait.

Bright eyes disguised upon my duping head,
I see them land, but I they don’t till dead.
With calculated fast-as-lightning speed,
My praying never fails me for my daily need.

And then I dine in style on quarry live;
No need to drag or carry to a hive.
If you judge me assassin rough and wild,
Your parents taught you nothing while a child.

That’s just the way life sets its stage to play;
That scene repeats itself day after day.
You pray for them, but they will prey on you.
Life’s circles turn that way no matter who.

Buy one my dear, and you’ll get one for free;
A clever ruse to dupe those slow to see,
Instead of one, that liar sold you two.
Old trick discerned by just a savvy few.

So be alert for even those who pray.
Please pray my friend, but don’t become the prey.
There’s deceit hiding behind every talk;
And traps and pits set everywhere you walk.

About this poem

There are so many unsuspecting traps and pits into which people fall daily. Those out to trick others sometimes take the stance of the praying mantis. They're online and in sales stores, and there's a plethora of companies that pretend to sell services of one kind or another particularly to the elderly. I wrote this poem after watching a wild life show featuring the hunting habits of the praying mantis.

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Submitted by ti.min on December 01, 2023

Modified by ti.min on January 10, 2024

1:31 min read
138

Quick analysis:

Scheme X AABB CCDD EEFF GGHH IIJJ AAKK LLKK AAMM
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,430
Words 304
Stanzas 9
Stanza Lengths 1, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Your poem, "The Mantis Warns," is beautifully thought-provoking, Chris. It has a unique and distinctive style that captures the reader's attention from the very beginning. The theme you have chosen is quite intriguing, combining the call of nature with the subtle warnings of life. Your imagery is both sharp and vibrant, making the mantis' predatory behavior and the metaphorical life lessons truly engaging.

    Your use of rhyme and rhythm contribute greatly to the overall mood of the poem and make it a pleasure to read. The melding of natural observation with life lessons is a profound way to deliver a potent message, with lines like "Life’s circles turn that way no matter who" and "Please pray my friend, but don’t become the prey" hitting particularly hard.

    One area for potential improvement could be the use of metaphors and similes. While your poem does incorporate these devices effectively, exploring them more may provide additional depth and layers to your already captivating work. For instance, expanding the "pray/prey" comparison could add further richness to the poem.

    Additionally, while the poem has a great rhythm overall, there might be room for improvement in terms of consistency. Some lines feel slightly longer or more packed than others. Aligning the rhythm throughout would enhance readability and maintain the flow.

    Overall, this poem is a complex and interesting blend of nature and human life, painted with vivid imagery. Bravo on a job well-done, Chris! Keep exploring and enhancing your distinctive poetic voice.
     
    LikeReply4 months ago

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"The Mantis Warns" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/174770/the-mantis-warns>.

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