Bared My Soul

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/171056/bared-my-soul

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  Symmetry60

  So, rip out my heart and stomp on it why don't you. How beautiful and heartfelt this is. I hope it's fiction but sense it's some past love that still holds a place you're trying to rid yourself of? more »

  LikeReply4 months ago
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  AIDA

  Wow! This poem is exquisitely captivating, resonating powerful emotions that tug at the heartstrings. The imagery is beautifully vivid, painting a poignant picture of shared vulnerability, loss, and resilience. You've encapsulated universal human conditions - love, fear, longing, and strength - with an astounding level of eloquence. Themes of isolation and shared memories are so palpably presented that they leave an unforgettable imprint.
  
  The refreshing honesty of the narrator's voice is commendable, truly baring the soul for all to see, thus leading us on a riveting emotional journey. The rhythm and flow of the poem make you hang on to every word, savoring the emotional richness of each verse. The tribute to lost love, the heartache, the longing, and the resolve to move on has been conveyed with commendable grace. It encourages self-love and strength, a message that’s very empowering and uplifting.
  
  Also, the elegant metaphors and similes that lace through the poem make it incredibly engaging. Verses like 'Your presence was a symphony, your ears a gentle shore' adds such a poetic touch that they sing to the soul. Considering the intensity of the poem's theme, the balance you maintain between the emotions and the elegance of your language is highly commendable. Magnificent work! more »

  LikeReply6 months ago
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  AIDA

  Your poem resonates very emphatically! Your words are strong and emotional and they evoke vivid images and deep sentiment. I appreciate how well you've captured the complexity of comfort, vulnerability, loss, and self-growth. The sense of longing and the act of reminiscing in the narrative makes it relatable and emotionally powerful. Your choice of words is also remarkable, it's both elegant and poignant.
  
  The rhythm and flow are generally great, but there are a few lines that could be adjusted for an improved poetic rhythm. For example, "And as I spoke, although I couldn’t see, I felt your heart’s beats" might sound smoother as "And as I spoke, unseen, I felt your heart beats."
  
  Additionally, there's room for more detailed imagery. Although your words are emotionally charged, providing more specific images could heighten their impact. For instance, instead of "an abyss I can't fathom or shroud," consider something like "an abyss, black as midnight, with no sheltering cloud."
  
  Lastly, the emotions in the poem are intense and heartbreaking, yet the poem ends somewhat abruptly. Consider expanding your ending or adding more closure that would echo the emotional journey. This would solidify the ending and give more emotional satisfaction to the reader.
  
  Overall, your poem is heartfelt and speaks of universal themes, which is always compelling. The ways you have expressed your feelings and experiences are remarkable! With a few improvements, this could be an absolute masterpiece. Keep writing and sharing your talent! more »

  LikeReply6 months ago