Narcissus

John W. May

July 23

Ballad

There came to view a gleaming lake
Which beckoned him to take a drink,
But beauty seized the thirsty lad
As there he bent above its brink ...

A stunning sight appeared to him
Who marveled at its dear design—
Behold! a face beheld him back,
Whose symmetry was so divine.

How mesmerizing, oh the sight,
That rippled in the water clear ...
He touched his finger to its cheek,
But wavelets had it disappear.

When all the agitation calmed,
He dared, from love, a soft embrace:
But any touch attempted would
Disturb the beauty of its face.

Again it came. Again he touched.
Again the figure fluctuates.
Lamenting there beside that bank,
He cursed himself and all the Fates:

"What awful truth must I endure
That tells me what I see is I—
That boy within the water's gleam
Is me! Oh, wretched me! But why?"

Then Nemesis, who lingered by,
With fatal judgement in her vest,
Remorseless, cast a lethal lot
Which grew despairing in his breast.

Bereft of love's requited touch,
He pounded moans upon his chest
'Til writhing, by the water's edge,
He slipped into eternal rest.

Envoi

His deathbed is a thing of woe—
A cautionary tale to fear.
The Naiads and the Nymphs all know
That self-love grows a flower there.

About this poem

I've always delighted in the tragic myth surrounding poor Echo and her self-complacent heart's desire, Narcissus. So many classic poems about the two, I thought I would try my own hand at one: beginning with Narcissus.

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Submitted by Vixility on July 16, 2023

Modified by Vixility on August 08, 2023

: 1:15 min read
: 113 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	XAXA XBXB XCXC XDXD XEXE XFXF FGXG XGXG HCHX
Closest metre	Iambic tetrameter
Characters	1,231
Words	249
Stanzas	9
Stanza Lengths	4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Full analysis for Narcissus »

John W. May

John W. May has lived in Colorado all his life. He currently works in the field of ophthalmology and loves to mountain bike and read about history. John first became a lover of poetry in 2008 after having read a poem by John Milton. He has been reading and studying the works of various poets since. His favorite poets are Emily Dickinson, Fyodor Tyutchev and W. B. Yeats. more…

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3 Comments

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Jewoo525
Ah! This poem hit me right on the spot of my weakness in Greek/Roman mythology. I knew from the title that I would already be interested in reading the poem, I was grateful to see how much attention and care was put into crafting it. I'm reading the entirety of John Keats' Hyperion right now and I can't seem to help myself falling back into old habits of loving this genre of literature. I think your technical skill in crafting a poem is unparalleled among the contestants, you did a really good job of capturing a moment in this myth.

Well done, I hope you write more poems inspired by mythology. Keep writing. more »
LikeReply 38 months ago
- Vixility
  Uh, wow! Je, thank you for that compliment. There are so many impressive and talented writers in this friendly arena, so for you to say that is truly an honor.
  LikeReply 28 months ago
- Vixility
  Where I live many of the bookstores lack Keats’ work, and I have absolutely no idea why. I had to special order most of his works from out of state. He is one of the most underrated poets of the Romantic period. So tragic how young he died—could you imagine what kinds of works he might have left is had he passed in typical old age? He might have eclipsed many of the poets that we today consider the greats. more »
  LikeReply 28 months ago
JokerGem
Hey, great job on this one...l had it in my pinned pile, also just a heads up: you misspelled 'cautionary.'
LikeReply 18 months ago
- Vixility
  Boo! How does one miss something like that? Thanks friend …
  LikeReply 18 months ago
FLi
The first few lines are more than enough for me to say - I wish I could've written something like this.

The choice of words is nice, the play of rhyme is definitely on point, and when it comes to other factors, it's safe to say that it contains the exact elements needed for it to be considered a good read.

P.S.
I'm still in the experimental stage in terms of finding ways on how I can artistically incorporate mythology in my own poetry. This poem made me want to burn the midnight oil. more »
LikeReply 28 months ago
- lovingempath
  This poem was on the flip-side of my coin-toss John. I ended up voting on 'The Vigil'. You are a talent to be reckoned with. Beautiful!!
  LikeReply 28 months ago
- Vixility
  Thank you for the vote on this poem. "Burn the midnight oil" ... I totally agree: over the last few months I have read some pieces that it is no exaggeration to call breathtaking. I feel, and have believed from the beginning, that the best way to counter writer's block and to find inspiration is to read other poets, both contemporary and past. I've been inspired by many poets on this platform. more »
  LikeReply 28 months ago
- Vixility
  By the way, I can't wait to see what works you come up with in the future that incorporate mythology. Those are really fun poems to work with.
  LikeReply 28 months ago
- Vixility
  Hi, Robin. Thank you so much (blushing over here). The Vigil was the correct choice. I very much admired that piece, and the poet certainly deserves the accolade.
  LikeReply 28 months ago
- lovingempath
  I am actually researching a few 'mythology' topics right now. But I think some of my better stuff just comes in the spur-of-a-moment type thing. We'll see next month (or is it 'this' month already?) Time really flies when you're living in 'The Twilight Zone' :) more »
  LikeReply 28 months ago
- Vixility
  That poem of yours was really good, Robin! It brought back lots of personal memories. Now you have me on the edge of my seat wondering what myths you're considering/studying. Not to sound overtly Star Wars, but may the Muse be with you. more »
  LikeReply 28 months ago
- FLi
  I read this poem of yours multiple times to digest every bit of it but it's the type that already got my vote after reading it the first time. I look forward to see more of your works. :)
  LikeReply 28 months ago
- lovingempath
  LOL...My maternal grandmother's maiden name was actually 'Muse'...now I have a third direction to follow. Thanks for the reminder! :)
  LikeReply 18 months ago
- Vixility
  Haha ... that's great. You can never have enough Muses.
  LikeReply 18 months ago
- lovingempath
  Now you have my mind going in too many directions at one. And with barely one brain-cell left...I may have to split it :).
  LikeReply 18 months ago
- Vixility
  Haha … welcome to my world
  LikeReply 18 months ago
- lovingempath
  I might take you up on the invitation: It's hotter than Hades here in Oregon right now!
  LikeReply 18 months ago

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"Narcissus" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/166021/narcissus>.

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