Empty Sea of Sheets



In the bareness of night, defenseless and unmasked
Floating in a sea of pillows and sheets
My lover and I, carefree with hands clasped
No wrongs in the dark but stolen heartbeats

The gentle warm tide took us out to the deep
Our bodies rolled in waves of rippling bliss
We swore bond’s vow to eternally keep
As we laughed while we splashed and drank love’s kiss

With fixed eyes locked in unwavering gaze
We held tight as the storms surge and subside
Till her eye caught a figure in the distance haze
Prowling shadows; for he thirsts that love should die

With sweet words and forked tongue, he whispered to her
My nightmare wrapped in alluring disguise
She hypnotically listened till truth was a blur
Trading love she had for his counterfeit lies

A smirk of his mouth came wayward pealing thunder
Severing us two in the vast cotton sea
Helpless I watched, my devotion he plundered
As I pled to my darling, come back to me

Empty eyes smiled back as he took her far hidden
In his wicked cold grasp, she has chosen to be
The dark place she’s now, I am pushed out forbidden
Done are hot days of cool lips and weak knees

Alone I count stars in this dreamless expanse
This place we once hid to find slumbers embrace
Insomnia laughs as I dream there’s a chance
And scream silent, as half of myself is erased  

Now drowning in sheets of this watery grave
I reach out; feel her sleep with no care
Pour out my heart’s mission, our marriage to save
But though with me, she’s no longer there
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Written on July 12, 2023

Submitted by David_Zeoli on July 12, 2023

Modified by David_Zeoli on September 28, 2023

1:34 min read
97

Quick analysis:

Scheme XAXA BCBC DXDX EFEF EGXG HGHX IXIX JKJK
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 1,526
Words 314
Stanzas 8
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Discuss the poem Empty Sea of Sheets with the community...

3 Comments
  • Jewoo525
    Very strong imagery. The poem captured my attention with its honest depiction of love lost and heartbreak, paired with masterful craft. I usually cringe at poems about love so I have to force myself to write them, but this was an inspiring example of how it can be done with a level of depth and craft that I previously never really seen here before; where the poem's excellence simply stands on its own, overtaking any feeling of projected insecurity and letting the reader just sink in an immerse into it.

    Really great poem, I liked it a lot and have much to learn. Keep writing.
     
    LikeReply 18 months ago
    • David_Zeoli
      I am blown away by your kind words. Thank you so much! I am looking forward to sharing more poems and getting to read your work.
      LikeReply 28 months ago
  • Jewoo525
    Very strong imagery. The poem captured my attention with its honest depiction of love lost and heartbreak, paired with masterful craft. I usually cringe at poems about love so I have to force myself to write them, but this was an inspiring example of how it can be done with a level of depth and craft that I previously never really seen here before; where the poem's excellence simply stands on its own, overtaking any feeling of projected insecurity and letting the reader just sink in an immerse into it.

    Really great poem, I liked it a lot and have much to learn. Keep writing.
     
    LikeReply 18 months ago
  • lovingempath
    Powerful, powerful poem in every respect David! I'm not really a 'Romantic'; so to speak...but even I could feel the love, loss, melancholy, with a splash of despair and a sprinkle of deceit here. I'm not sure how poems like this slip under the radar. I think it's beautiful. 
    LikeReply 18 months ago
    • David_Zeoli
      Thank you so much! That is very kind of you. This was the first time I’ve ever shared something I’ve written with others. Your words mean a lot to me.
      LikeReply 18 months ago

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"Empty Sea of Sheets" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/165803/empty-sea-of-sheets>.

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