Rate:5.0 / 7 votes

'Fall'

Robin Loving

July 23 
Free verse
When geese fly south, and skies turn grey
Echoes of children, who chose to stay
Outside, still taunt me.

Dinner bells ring, and church choirs sing
But that burnt-leaf smell still
Lingers... to haunt me.

I remember the year when I just wore a sheet
My Halloween costume
To hide I'd been beat

And I still remember 'Bazooka Joe'
To the rescue.
The tastes and the smells, of a little kid's tales,
Paint a fresco...

'Mighty Mouse' was always on his way
But 'Little Joe' always saved the day
The 'Twilight Zone', beckoned me to stay
So I did...

And even as a little kid, I shifted zones, and often hid
Behind white sheets, in the 'Twilight Zone'
The ghostly figure, of
A child alone

60 years later, that burning-leaf smell
Reminds me of 'Bazooka', and those years spent in hell...
And the geese flying south, and the skies turning grey
Are not very far away.
.
Those memories from a child all alone...
Are never very far away...

About this poem

Sketchy reminders of my childhood...

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Submitted by lovingempath on July 30, 2023

57 sec read
348

Quick analysis:

Scheme AAB XXB CXC DXXD AAAE EFXF GGAA FA
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 931
Words 187
Stanzas 7
Stanza Lengths 3, 3, 3, 4, 4, 4, 7
Full analysis for 'Fall' »

Robin Loving

Sometimes the words flow like a murder of crows. They've held my secrets for the past 65-years. And sometimes they repeat them back to me, and laugh. more…

All Robin Loving poems | Robin Loving Books

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Discuss the poem 'Fall' with the community...

11 Comments
  • Symmetry60
    Symmetry60
    Where are you??? I haven't heard from you in a month. I am worried.
    LikeReply6 months ago
  • LinYoest
    LinYoest
    Another heart-wrenching poem by a talented poet. Thanks for being so transparent with your past and your feelings Robin.
    LikeReply 18 months ago
    • lovingempath
      lovingempath
      THERE you are! I've missed you Linda! :) p.s...Thank you.
      LikeReply 18 months ago
    • LinYoest
      LinYoest
      Hi Robin. Yes, I've been a little MIA on here recently, but I still try to keep up with my favorite poets--like you. I plan on submitting one of my Christmas poems (I have a lot of them) in the December contest. I also have quite a few other poems from years ago that I am trying to decide which to enter. Looking forward to your next entries, my friend. 
      LikeReply 18 months ago
    • lovingempath
      lovingempath
      I'm a real sucker for Christmas poems! November might be a good time to start submitting them, since people are already in the holiday spirit, and voting is in December...it worked for me once :). I'm so happy to see you! 
      LikeReply 18 months ago
    • LinYoest
      LinYoest
      That's a good point Robin. I will submit in November. And good to see you, too. I always enjoy conversing with you.
      LikeReply 18 months ago
  • FLi
    FLi
    With whole honesty, this poem hits me differently. It's good and all but I felt the emotions on a higher level especially when it comes to the idea that it is something you went through in the past as a child.

    P.S.
    One thing's for sure though, your writing is indeed worth reading. Cheers to that my friend Robin. :)     
    LikeReply 18 months ago
    • lovingempath
      lovingempath
      I love your honesty and always value your opinions Franny! Thank you for just being 'you'!
      LikeReply 18 months ago
  • npirandy
    npirandy
    Somehow, all of the emails from Poetry.com and Stands4 have ended up in my spam folder. I have once again added them to my address book, but who knows?? Computers make me dizzy, which is not a good state to be in at my age. Well, my attempt to use a different approach to my entries came up empty once again. It appears that the competition has gotten a little too stiff for my meager talent. I'm not giving up though. I read your latest, and it touched home for me too. We'll just keep plugging along. Take care and Good Luck this month. (As if you need it :)
    On the bright side, I have just returned from the very first Honor Flight exclusively for Purple Heart vets. It was AMAZING!! 
    LikeReply 18 months ago
    • lovingempath
      lovingempath
      WOW! I am friends with a 'Purple Heart' Vet!? Well...I already knew you were and you've shared (and I have voted for) many of your life experiences; along with the trauma that still lingers. You are a splendid example of why this is such an excellent site for everyone to express themselves. I salute you for your service to this country Randy; and I salute you for your God-given talent. 
      LikeReply8 months ago
  • sshipley
    sshipley
    Great poem of memories past - so sorry for pain you endured as a child - your poem will resonate
    LikeReply 18 months ago
  • Vixility
    Vixility
    It's pretty challenging to write poetry that can translate its readers back to the subjective experience of its author. You did an excellent job achieving that with this fine work of yours, Robin. Congratulations! 
    LikeReply 18 months ago
  • Kaytee
    Kaytee
    Amazing work, you took me with you to all those sights and smells and the pain of the past. Wow! Congrats!
    LikeReply 28 months ago
    • lovingempath
      lovingempath
      I bow to thee; my humble 'Kaytee'. Thank you so much! :)
      LikeReply 18 months ago
  • Symmetry60
    Symmetry60
    Yes! Yes!! Yes!!! You did it!!!!!!!!! I freaking LOVE your brilliant mind, Momma. I am SO SO SO damn proud of you. Your talent, while sickening me knowing you are competition for me, makes my heart so full. YOU are amazing, Robin Loving. This was one of my top picks. Imagine that. 
    LikeReply 18 months ago
    • lovingempath
      lovingempath
      LOL...welcome to the 'chicky' world :).
      LikeReply8 months ago
  • David_Zeoli
    David_Zeoli
    You have a remarkable talent to communicate and paint a feeling in your poetry. Congratulations on your win.
    LikeReply 18 months ago
    • lovingempath
      lovingempath
      Thank you David! You are a master of portraying feelings through imagery, so I consider that a high compliment.
      LikeReply 18 months ago
  • Jewoo525
    Jewoo525
    I know that exact smell, of burning Autumn leaves. As a kid, it was an exciting time as it reminds me it was time for Halloween season, one of the few nights it was easier to pretend to belong with the other kids from school; now, a smell brings back a lot of melancholy. I also love The Twilight Zone, I took a class in middle school where we studied some of the more famous episodes-a truly timeless show and one of my favorite classes. I remember my favorite episodes being the one with the plane, and the "Eye of the Beholder" for the freaky plot twist.

    I loved this poem. The just-the-right amount of intimate personal details really added to the immersion while leaving room for connecting to the poem. A lot of long-form and meditative pieces this month, I think the simplistic presentation and earnest imagery helped this piece stay in my head. I can't wait for this summer to be over so that I can smell this scent and brood over being transported back to that time, just like this poem did for me. Well done.     
    LikeReply 28 months ago
    • lovingempath
      lovingempath
      Thank you so much! You may have knocked yourself out of this position after casting your vote for my poem, however. You are a gem! p.s...The 'plane' episode is my favorite :).
      LikeReply8 months ago
    • lovingempath
      lovingempath
      Living on the west coast now, I've almost become afraid of that smell. A few years ago was a terrible experience with everything covered in an inch of ash fall-out and not being able to go for a walk without risking death. BUT...I still look forward to fall; and that 'burning-leaf smell (as long as I'm not getting 'FIRE_ALERT' warnings. And I think I may have just re-watched 'Eye of the Beholder'. Was it the one with the beautiful gal (IMO) being judged by the 'ugly ones' (IMO)? 
      LikeReply8 months ago
  • gbaranoff
    gbaranoff
    I felt the universal cry from other children and the children inside old bodies under the geese flying south under the autumn sky.
    LikeReply 18 months ago
    • lovingempath
      lovingempath
      I feel honored Gerald! Thank you for your vote.
      LikeReply8 months ago
    • gbaranoff
      gbaranoff
      You're welcome! Greg not Gerald
      LikeReply 18 months ago
    • lovingempath
      lovingempath
      oops...sorry Greg. I will forever remember your name as long as I live :)
      LikeReply8 months ago
    • lovingempath
      lovingempath
      I'm not sure why it isn't already ingrained...your 'Portland Train' and 'Scatter Me' poems are a few of my very favorites. You are a master of conjuring emotion through imagery and I bow to your talent 'Greg'. :) 
      LikeReply 18 months ago
    • gbaranoff
      gbaranoff
      Just want to be remembered as a Greg... Thanks for the acknowledgement of my poems and kind words.
      LikeReply 18 months ago
    • lovingempath
      lovingempath
      ' Greg' ( I pronounced it 'Greck') Shirra was actually the name of my first love when I was a teenager in Germany (a century ago). He was the leader of a motorcycle club called 'The Young Devils' . Oh...thanks for the inspiration for a new poem Greg! :). 
      LikeReply8 months ago
    • gbaranoff
      gbaranoff
      I have been called "Greck" and "Grisha" so those are fine!
      LikeReply 18 months ago

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"'Fall'" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/165679/'fall'>.

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