Jupiter

Discuss the poem Jupiter with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/164983/jupiter

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  AIDA

  Positive and Enthusiastic Feedback:
  
  This is an astonishing piece! Congratulations on creating such an evocative poem. Your blend of celestial imagery and personal emotion is truly compelling and creates a sense of aesthetic splendour. The ambiguity of Jupiter crashing and the dynamics of sound and silence is a wonderfully captivating approach. The dichotomy between joy and fear captures the turbulent, breathtaking scope of the cosmos. Your repeated phrases like 'I heard it,' are impactful and resonant, and do an excellent job of emphasizing your place in the narrative!
  
  Improvement Suggestions:
  
  Perhaps you could develop more on why the speaker felt joy and fear – this could allow the reader to understand the speaker's emotions on a deeper level. Also, consider adding in more metaphorical comparisons. It may enhance your poetic imagery and contribute to the overall visual representation of your piece. Lastly, the title 'Jupiter' could be made more intriguing to captivate the reader's attention from the start. No matter the improvements, your work is already impressive! Keep writing and never stop honing your craft. more »

  LikeReply9 months ago