Finding myself...

All the love shared just to be lost.
As all the feelings just fade away.
As I tell myself "I will be Ok!!"
All the lies I have to tell myself to feel ok.
The tiny bit of normalcy I try to grasp onto.
So much time lost and wasted; on what I thought was meant to be.
Just to be lost into a abyss of depression an meaningless emotions.
Questioning myself daily.
Just hoping one day I will be half of what I used to be before you.
All prayers I used to pray every night just to fall on deaf ears.
Or so I thought in the beginning.
Until I woke up and felt more like me than I have in years.
All those prayers were answered I just never understood.
Until now.
I get that they were answered when I let you go.
I don't hurt everyday.
No more abuse or lies.
Mo more tears over something an someone who never deserved them.
I figure out I was here all along.
Just masked by the damaged you have caused.
It just took time to heal an find peace within myself.
To notice I was slowly finding myself again.
All the damaged you cause will always be there but I will never deal with it again.
I have learnt my worth is more than beat down daily.
By someone who can't even find happiness within themselves.
You can't hurt me anymore in anyway shape or form.
I refuse to let you bring me down or break me.
I' am stronger than the abuse I received by you.
I can bet on everything I love you will never get control over me again.
I beat you at your own game.
So trying will do you no good.
I'am healed enogh to find my worth again.