Untitled 2

Broken yet whole..
Tired yet woke...
Dazed yet not confused...
In love yet full of hate...
I am waiting yet moving forward...
Trying to push yet I am being pulled...
I am hidden yet right here in front of you.
If this is your meaning of love..
I DO NOT WANT IT...
Yet....
WHY AM I SO ADDICTED...
To all the trauma you bring...
Yet...
I am ready to go and let it be...
My brain says run yet my heart says stay...
Yet feen for whatever it is about you...
That bond...trauma..memoeries...& ptsd..
Yet you left me with even more self doubt and insecurities..
Yet..I built you up and set you so high..
You dropped me right on my face...
Let's not forget how you left mem there in the dirt..
Just to lie and deceive me even more...
Why cant i just learn my lesson and let you go..
Instead I just keep insisting on torturing myself and shattering what is left of my broken heart..
Death to me is easier than mending an shattered heart...
Yet..I still live everyday to slowly kill myself even more...
I pray to whom ever need be for help...
But it only falls on deaf ears...
I don't have much of anything left in me....
What I do have left is trying to fight the hold you have on me...
I will plead and beg just go and leave..
You have killed me long enough..
It's my time to live....