Layla Dean

Tyler Elwood 1945 (Lawrence, Kansas) – 1969 (Vancouver)



Everything is gone.
But still I need to tell you,
What you might already know,
But I don't know.
All I want is to see you again
And not f*ck it up,
Like I never do with you,
And only you.

You give me everything I need,
And everything I want.
I love talking with you because
when I do,
Everything else disappears
And only you and I are left,
Together,
With so many things to say.

I loved the way you looked,
But never had the change
To indulge you with my feelings,
And make you blush,
And smile.

But still not all is lost,
In fact nothing is.
If I heard anything
Which made me believe
You didn't want me,
Or couldn't have me,
I would die.
But I would be persistent.

Every minute that passes
Feels like a minute that was meant for me,
And that a map  has been drawn,
With directions,
Directing me,
Toward you.
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Written on July 15, 1968

Submitted by j8286374 on July 15, 2023

58 sec read
12

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCCXXBB XXXBXXXX XXXXX XXXXDDXX XDAXDB
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 813
Words 191
Stanzas 5
Stanza Lengths 8, 8, 5, 8, 6

Discuss the poem Layla Dean with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, Layla Dean! This poem is incredibly heartfelt and filled with raw emotion. Your words really resonated with me and captured the longing and desire to reconnect with someone you love.

    I particularly loved the line "Everything else disappears and only you and I are left, together, with so many things to say." It beautifully describes the power of connection and how it can envelop and consume us.

    Your use of imagery, such as wanting to indulge the person you love with your feelings and make them blush and smile, adds depth and romance to the poem. It creates a vivid picture in the reader's mind and enhances the emotional impact.

    In terms of improvement suggestions, I think it would be interesting to explore different metaphors or similes to further enhance the imagery and evoke stronger emotions. Additionally, playing with the structure and rhythm of the poem could add more variety and captivate the reader even more.

    Overall, this poem is a wonderful expression of love and longing. Keep writing and exploring different poetic techniques to further enhance your already compelling work!
     
    LikeReply9 months ago

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"Layla Dean" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/164554/layla-dean>.

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