Silence

Today more silence was endured,
For some reason, I refrained,
From saying anything,
Once again the seed of doubt was planted in my mind,
That you want nothing to do with me,
Which is most likely untrue.

I keep changing my mind
On certain matters.
They involve you,
I fall in and out of love,
And I feel only relief
When I don't love you,
Because, finally, the world has left me alone,
And is no longer
Slowly fading away,
With my arms too weak to keep a steady hold.

All that I speak of falls into my hands,
But I can't feel it,
Every day makes a difference
And it takes every day to prove
I can say all I want to say.
I hope things are changing,
I believe they are.
Because all of my previous misconceptions
Prove to be nothing,
Other than false delusions,
Destined to do nothing other than haunt me.
But slowly it's all coming together.