The End Of My Life

Some may say this is a note,
A final word,
To tell my loved ones goodbye,
To explain my untimely demise,
I did not bring this upon myself,
It was, however, brought upon me,
By the ones I called friends,
Who, it seems, had no desire but to ridicule me,
With lies

In truth, I don't yet want to depart from this world,
But I feel as if it would be perfect,
A beautiful death,
The end to a story filled with self-loathing,
I ask myself if it's really worth it,
Try desperately to convince myself that I am making
The wrong decision,
But nothing I do can change my mind

I put my trust in people,
People who I thought ere trying to help,
I made a mistake,
Said something which I probably should not have said,
I tried to convince my assailants of this,
That it was untrue,
And it was untrue,
And while they were offering me fake condolements,
They did nothing but plan their brutal attack,
Twisting and bending my words,
And, in some cases, plucking them out of thin air,
For reasons I am entirely unsure of

I want the ones who told me they love me to know,
The ones who told me they were lucky to have me as a friend,
That the end of my life is the direct result of their cruel behavior,
I was sensitive and vulnerable,
I just wanted to make it to the next stage of life,
Knowing how to function as a human being,
Unfortunately, I'll never get there at all

I don't want to stop writing,
Because I know as soon as I do,
Time will restart,
Then abruptly stop,
For me,
Now all that's left to say is
Thank you, to those who should be thanked,
I love you, to those who deserve my love,
And sorry, to those I have wronged

I just wish I could see the reaction,
Of those who killed me,
As I begin my descent into obscurity,
There's so much I am yet to accomplish,
This is nothing but a waste,
Maybe this is what they wanted,
Maybe they never wanted this at all,
Until I see you all in Heaven,
Goodbye