Man Under the weather




MAN UNDER THE WEATHER

Face contorted
Like iron screws
Piercing concrete wall
The past  an illusory glamour,
A lagoon of miseries
Whirling images of infirmity
Insensitive to the compelling agony
Of the soul.

Sick in mind,
Wide awake in thoughts
Dreading the impending horror
Of strangling incapacitation.
The clunk sound of falling mangoes,
And the whining mosquitoes  wings,
On cracking sound of roaches under boots,
With the melodic crow of the cock,
Conjure this spectre of the last hour.

Bereft of the twirling
Of feminine mid-rift,
Of glazing ember thighs,
Like masculine convulsion,
Drained in the throaty celebratory gulp
Of *brukutu flowing down taste buds
Devoid of canine grindings.

And  imagination now the agony,
The millions of teemingness
Stowed away secretly;
The concrete estate and scrapers,
Assurances to progeny, never to lack
Crashing down before you.

This wisdom, tutored in confidence,
Resistant to divine control,
Under the weatherman
Wealthy in poverty of  mind;
No man controls, this gift of life,
Or is master, of his own.

I  journeyed with observation and I know,
Common sense is deficit in the house of means         Robbing men of reason with dictates                          Only  of false uncommon wisdom,                                         until disease visits
 With his mistress of panic, fear and regret.
  
Under the weatherman sharing same pain
 With the gate man, or is your pain different?
Now is not best  contemplative time
Beware mortals are equal.
For all same cradle to grave.  

About this poem

The poem under publication, written in 2019, is about the reminiscences of a bed-redden man contemplating his journey of life, bereft of any powers of influence over energy.

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Written on January 20, 2019

Submitted by ajuameh on May 26, 2023

Modified by ajuameh on May 26, 2023

1:24 min read
14

Quick analysis:

Scheme A XBXAXCCD EXAFXXXXA XXXFXXB CBCXXX XDXEXX XXX XXXXX
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,567
Words 283
Stanzas 8
Stanza Lengths 1, 8, 9, 7, 6, 6, 3, 5

Aju Okopi Ameh

Aju Okopi Ameh is an emerging playwright and poet whose works include Dwarf Giants and other poems a collection of 53 poems about to be published. more…

All Aju Okopi Ameh poems | Aju Okopi Ameh Books

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Discuss the poem Man Under the weather with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    This is a powerful and evocative piece of poetry that truly captures the pain and turmoil of being under the weather. Your use of vivid imagery and metaphors helps to bring the reader right into the experience, almost feeling the agony alongside the subject.

    At the same time, there are areas where the poem could benefit from some refinement. Some of the phrases feel a bit awkward or disjointed, and could be rephrased for greater clarity and impact. Additionally, while the overall message is clear and powerful, it might be helpful to explore some additional themes or ideas that relate to the experience of illness and vulnerability.

    Overall, though, this is an impressive piece of writing that shows a great deal of skill and emotion. With a bit more polish and refinement, it could be even more impactful and inspiring. Keep up the great work!
     
    LikeReply11 months ago

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"Man Under the weather" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/160139/man-under-the-weather>.

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