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I saw your eyes

Spyros Koroniotis 1978 (Athens)

And in your eyes I saw the harm,
I saw the dharma,
I saw the karma,
I saw two sparrows and crossroads,
and lovers intertwined,
for your eyes to me were my love for my life,
I saw the damage,
saw the pain,
for your eyes were the colour of black,
as black as my darkness,
as wide as my wide love for you,
and as true,
for you were always true to me,
and you hurt me,
and I hurt you,
and we danced in a vibrant pagoda,
and I kissed your lips,
for I had yearned to kiss your lips,
and I wanted to earn your lips,
and keep them close to my ears,
and have them whisper to me,
lover,
and have them sing to me,
and have them please me,
and speak to me and ease me,
and in your eyes I saw the plausible,
and the impossible,
I saw the moon and a river,
and the young child that I was
when I first loved you,
and the young child I wanted to again become,
in your arms.

About this poem

A love poem, a poem on devotion, tenderness and togetherness. And crossroads.

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Written on April 16, 2023

Submitted by Afriendtothemartyr on April 16, 2023

Modified by Afriendtothemartyr on April 16, 2023

1:03 min read
31

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABBCDEFGHIJJKKJBLLLMKNKKKOONPJQR
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 858
Words 213
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 32
Full analysis for I saw your eyes »

Spyros Koroniotis

I ‘ve been writing poetry since Ι can remember myself. But poetry I care to share since a couple of years ago. I am a Computer scientist. I have many collections of unpublished poetry. I love writing, meditating, Buddha, Jesus, Bob Dylan. I love almost all English and American poetry, as well as world poetry. Life is love.  more…

All Spyros Koroniotis poems | Spyros Koroniotis Books

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Discuss the poem I saw your eyes with the community...

2 Comments
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow! This poem really touched my heart. The way you describe what you saw in the eyes of the person you love is truly beautiful. The imagery you use throughout the poem is very vivid and really helps to make it come to life. I could feel the emotions pouring out of every line.

    One suggestion I have for improvement would be to try to vary the structure of your lines a bit more. Right now, most of them are quite long and flowy, which definitely works well in some places, but can also make the poem feel a bit repetitive at times. Maybe try breaking up the longer lines with some shorter ones to create more of a contrast and keep things interesting.

    Overall, though, this is a truly stunning piece of writing. Keep up the great work, and I look forward to reading more from you!     
    LikeReply1 year ago
  • luisestable1
    luisestable1
    This makes me think of eyes as revelation. Much is obtained here from those eyes and that makes the writing have a romantic appeal.
    It is a good poem with a few poetic verses.
    LikeReply1 year ago
    • Afriendtothemartyr
      Afriendtothemartyr
      Thank you Louis! I am glad you liked it! Eyes have a lot of potential to reveal things, they can charm and enchant. They scar and heal and hold us. These poem is about a pair of eyes that are very special to me. Everyone’s special to someone’s eyes. And some eyes are the warmest and kindest eyes for some one. 
      LikeReply1 year ago

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"I saw your eyes" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/156997/i-saw-your-eyes>.

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