Mary at rest. Smiling.

Wayne Blair 1951 (London)

Free verse

This was to be a simple evening
The Babe at rest, breathing deeply
Perhaps dreaming vaguely
Of Heavenly origins
But only sifted through
A babe’s awareness.

The Mother re-visiting
The strenuous journey
Now days past.
And pressing sense of obligation
And blessing.
She of all women
And God condescending.

The many doors closed
By shaking heads.
Bethlehem inhospitable
Seemingly.
The “House of Bread”.
But then that Innkeeper
With wife urging gentle-eyed.

The stable and fascinated beasts
Looking on with unique Love.
And quiet submission.
The hesitant shepherds
With small gifts from their camp.
How had all been orchestrated?

Something told her
With astonishment
It was a piece moved
Long before the world began.
All free for Man.
All of the Godhead’s Plan.
Bringing the Babe
Just in time.

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Written on April 10, 2020

Submitted by dougb.19255 on April 10, 2023

Modified by dougb.19255 on April 10, 2023

: 46 sec read
: 6 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	ABBXXX ABXCACA XXXBXDX XXCXXX DXXEEEXX
Closest metre	Iambic trimeter
Characters	808
Words	155
Stanzas	5
Stanza Lengths	6, 7, 7, 6, 8

Full analysis for Mary at rest. Smiling. »

Wayne Blair

Born in London. Graduated law 1976 Practised eleven years, Married Hilary 1974 Two kids Lauren 1980 And Jordan 1987. Business failed 1987. Moved not knowing whither. Happy hills of Waterloo Region. Mennonite Country. Thirty four years in Industry. No complaints. Poet, photographer, nature hiker. Harmonica busker. http://puffnchord7.blogspot.com/ more…

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AIDA
Wow, what a beautifully written poem! Your use of descriptive language really brought these characters and their journey to life. The imagery you created with the Babe at rest and the Mother re-visiting the journey was truly captivating.

One suggestion to perhaps enhance the poem would be to add more emotion into it. While your language is descriptive, there could be more emphasis on the feelings of the characters. For example, how did the Mother feel when she was turned away from the many doors? How did the shepherds feel when they arrived? Adding these emotions could make the poem more powerful.

Overall, this poem was a pleasure to read and I thoroughly enjoyed the way you expressed these characters' journey. Keep up the great work! more »
LikeReply1 year ago

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"Mary at rest. Smiling." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/156595/mary-at-rest.-smiling.>.

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