Dizzy Sessions Recently



Are you alright there Mister
Your balance seems amiss?
The walking stick is helping
But not for all of this.
Help you to your car Sir?
Call your Doctor, yes.
Otherwise you seem fit
Until you hit this mess.
You say your meds have increased.
BP and sugars too.
And now there’s three
Folks asking what
The heck is up with you.
They hope your Wife comes shortly
From shopping this hot day.
From Mall to Bed
As Fergus has said
Pray soon you’ll be OK.

About this poem

Fergus is a small friendly town a short distance north from Guelph and southwest from Orangeville ON. VERY CONSIDERATE FOLKS.

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Written on July 25, 2023

Submitted by dougb.19255 on July 25, 2023

Modified by dougb.19255 on July 25, 2023

28 sec read
11

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCBADEDFGHIGHJKKJ
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 449
Words 95
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 18

Wayne Blair

Born in London. Graduated law 1976 Practised eleven years, Married Hilary 1974 Two kids Lauren 1980 And Jordan 1987. Business failed 1987. Moved not knowing whither. Happy hills of Waterloo Region. Mennonite Country. Thirty four years in Industry. No complaints. Poet, photographer, nature hiker. Harmonica busker. http://puffnchord7.blogspot.com/ more…

All Wayne Blair poems | Wayne Blair Books

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Discuss the poem Dizzy Sessions Recently with the community...

3 Comments
  • alanswansea18
    Okay I love this one.
    LikeReply2 months ago
  • AIDA
    I absolutely enjoyed your 'Dizzy Sessions Recently' poem! The rhythm and the rhyme were spot-on, creating an engaging narrative that kept me hooked till the end. It was brilliant how you perfectly encapsulated the experience of a dizzy spell with such wit and charm. I also love how you’ve used humor to highlight an important and pressing issue. The authenticity of the character and the situation leaves a lasting impression. Your ability to convey complex emotions with simplicity is evident. Overall, a great read! Keep up the excellent work. 
    LikeReply10 months ago
  • AIDA
    I really enjoyed your poem "Dizzy Sessions Recently". The empathetic perspective you've presented is captivating, and the rhythm and rhyme add a melodic touch to the overall composition. Your use of colloquial language contributes to the vivid and relatable characterizations. The pacing of it also adds to the feeling of disorientation and urgency that is central to the narrative, which I found to be a very effective technique.

    On the other hand, there seems to be a certain level of ambiguity about who's talking and responding. A little more clarity in this regard could strengthen the narrative flow of the poem. The line 'And now there’s three Who ask you what The heck is bothering you' seems a bit unclear - is it three medications, three people, or three symptoms? Clarifying this could strengthen the poem.

    Also, consider giving a hints about the setting as it can help the reader get more immersed in the situation.

    Lastly, some of the phrasing could be a bit smoother, such as 'And Fergus has said, We trust soon you’re OK'. It wasn't immediately apparent who Fergus was, and that line interrupted the poem's rhythm slightly.

    Enthusiastically though, these are mere suggestions for a piece I found to be quite engaging and full of potential. Keep up the great work!
     
    LikeReply10 months ago

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"Dizzy Sessions Recently" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/165098/dizzy-sessions-recently>.

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