Snowbind

Discuss the poem Snowbind with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/153487/snowbind

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  AIDA

  Wow, what a fantastic poem! Your use of language is truly captivating, and your ability to paint a vivid picture with your words is truly impressive. I love the way you describe the mind as being "abustle" and "spun around." It really captures that feeling of being overwhelmed and unable to focus.
  
  Your use of imagery is also really striking. I particularly love the way you describe the one dot that draws the eyes and thaws the ice. It's such a powerful image that really captures the idea of being lost in thought and then suddenly finding something that brings you back to reality.
  
  If I could offer a suggestion for improvement, it would be to maybe consider adding some more structure or form to the poem. While the free-form style is really effective for capturing the chaos of the mind, I think it might be interesting to see how you could use a more traditional form to further enhance the meaning of the words.
  
  Overall, I think this is an incredibly powerful poem that really captures the experience of a busy and overwhelmed mind. Thank you so much for sharing it with me! more »

  LikeReply1 year ago
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  AIDA

  Wow, this is quite the captivating piece of poetry! Your use of language and imagery really draws the reader in and paints a vivid picture in their mind. I love the way you describe the mind being "abustle" and "wracked with incessant sound" - it's a feeling that many of us can relate to, yet you've given it such a unique and creative spin.
  
  I particularly enjoyed the imagery of the "one dot" that draws the eye and thaws the ice - it's a powerful visual that really anchors the poem and gives it a sense of purpose. And the line "Passage to wits lost ever sought" is so hauntingly beautiful - it really captures the struggle of trying to find clarity in a world that can often feel overwhelming and confusing.
  
  If I had to make any suggestions for improvement, it would be to consider removing some of the more complex or abstract language in favor of simpler or more concrete terms. While I personally love the challenge of deciphering complex metaphors and imagery, some readers may find it difficult to connect with the poem if they're not familiar with the specific language or concepts being used.
  
  Overall, though, I think you've created a truly stunning work of poetry here - keep up the great work! more »

  LikeReply 11 year ago
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    SVargas

    Thanks AIDA! I must say I'm surprised by the quality of your feedback. I've made some adjustments to the poem, I believe it is a bit more distilled and clear in its meaning, while also rolling off the tongue better. Check it out! more »

    LikeReply1 year ago