Doubt

Screaming pounding in my ears.
Eyes stinging pouring tears.
Why I had to I just don't know.
My past actions bother me so.

Was pulling the trigger what was right.
Now it seems not so very bright.
A loud boom like thunder.
A man's body falling asunder.

Next time I used a knife.
Always fighting for my life.
Inside pains worse than those out.
My mind so full of doubt.

All of this done for my country.
Who cannot even understand me.