Welcome to Poetry.com

Poetry.com is a huge collection of poems from famous and amateur poets from around the world — collaboratively published by a community of authors and contributing editors.

Navigate through our poetry database by subjects, alphabetically or simply search by keywords. You can submit a new poem, discuss and rate existing work, listen to poems using voice pronunciation and even translate pieces to many common and not-so-common languages.

Rate this poem:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Groom Of The Stool

There once prospered a Tudor supreme,
His duty obliged a fine royal bottom.
'Twas ''Groom of the Stool'' the title given to beseem,
None hoariest needed to apply in Sodom.

By far 'twere merely feisty male servants,
All capable comrades in the king's court.
They had access to the royal treasury in earnest,
If being essentially for their jovial disport.

Assistant to the idle king's toileting needs,
If in excretion and ablution he'd excel.
Thus to wipe the masters bum would be his deed,
As matter of fact 'twas a grandest impel.

Unobstructed access unto anal passage,
Therefore the king could remain clean.
Any nobleman would be proud in his vantage,
Acquiring a honourable role in hygiene.

Preparation was optimal for a cleaner rear,
So vital was a bowl, water and towels.
When all items were in view royalty would cheer,
Bugger them loyal lads purging bowels.

Repulsive not but a meaningful vocation,
That wiping of excreta and diarrhoea;
Subsequently the king could have his temptation,
Indulging hence his appetite for tortilla.

Many benefits were awarded the gentry,
Certain sons of noblemen given worth;
They lived only for the king however his frenzy,
As pivotal a mandate as vaginal birth!

So here is to kissing asses and anal swell,
A trying pain in the butt if constipated;
"Twas ''Groom of the Stool'' who would enter hell,
Then he ought to lubricate the irritated.
Font size:

Submitted by Spideracer21 on March 05, 2021

1:11 min read

Charles Bernabi

When I was a young lad I used to go hunting whales with my grandfather. Inspiration and imagination comes from that experience, well actually it's all from my imagination. more…

All Charles Bernabi poems | Charles Bernabi Books

FAVORITE (2 fans)

Discuss this Charles Bernabi poem with the community:



    Find a translation for this poem in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this poem to your bibliography:


    "Groom Of The Stool" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 21 Sep. 2021. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/62825/groom-of-the-stool>.

    Become a member!

    Join our community of poets and poetry lovers to share your work and offer feedback and encouragement to writers all over the world!

    Browse Poetry.com


    Are you a poetry master?

    "I walk down the garden paths, and all the daffodils are blowing"
    • A. Amy Lowell
    • B. Gwendolyn Brooks
    • C. Elizabeth Barrett Browning
    • D. Emily Dickinson

    Our favorite collection of

    Famous Poets