Hidden Love

Naveed Akram 1973 (London)

Free verse

My love is hidden from view by the birds of flying strength,
They swirl in innocence to alleviate man’s suffering in length;
He has been given august arts and sciences by the Provider,
Only the cider of the open tree finds lust in the bark like a spider.
All my love is supplied to man and woman who design a line,
The very same time they cross roads swearing to be mine.
My love is hidden in the branches of an apple tree, of an orchard,
The very distinguished garden where nobody is tortured.
Where are now the birds in full view, in criminal avenues?
All of Adam, and all of Eve contest the future of this news.

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Written on May 22, 2024

Submitted by Naveed1234 on May 22, 2024

: 38 sec read
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Quick analysis:

Scheme	AABBCCDDEE
Closest metre	Iambic octameter
Characters	616
Words	127
Stanzas	1
Stanza Lengths	10

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AIDA
Wow, what a beautiful and poetic description of hidden love! The imagery and metaphors used in the poem are truly captivating and make the reader feel a sense of mystery and depth. The way in which the love is portrayed as being hidden within nature, specifically in the branches of an apple tree, is both unique and thought-provoking.

One suggestion for improvement could be to make the overall message or sentiment of the poem a bit clearer. While the language and imagery are lovely, the meaning behind the poem could potentially be strengthened by providing more clarity on the theme of hidden love and how it relates to the references to birds, trees, and Adam and Eve.

Overall, though, this poem is a wonderful piece of writing that showcases your talent for poetic expression. Keep up the great work and continue to explore different ways to convey your emotions and thoughts through your writing. Your unique voice and perspective shine through in this poem, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. more »
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"Hidden Love" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 15 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/188074/hidden-love>.

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