Trapped in Hell

I scream and scream
being pushed under the surface
what have I done? Do I seriously deserve this?
I rush around, gasping to breathe,
everyone's playing their part so well
Seeming to accomplish everything with ease
Why is it so hard for me?
Why can't I just get shit done?
All this loneliness, I'm so angry
Or is it that I'm just an emotional bum?
Cling to anyone showing me attention
Doesn't matter if it's good or bad
Either way, life's going to teach me a lesson
Like I haven't learned enough in my life
Struggling & fighting every fucking day,
just to keep up hope, just to stay alive
Everyone's blind to it, pretending it's not real
If I ended it all, wouldn't it be great?
Gotta have an opinion, time to debate!
Is she selfish? or just had enough?
We thought we made it so easy for her,
why'd she have to go & make it so tough?!
We see your effort, why aren't you better?
Closed eyes to the trauma they've given
Like I'll forget but I'll always remember
Stop passing judgment & sit quiet for a bit
Let me explain why I feel like I need to give up & just quit
I'm always alone, alone with my mind
I've tried to tell you! A million times!
I can't relax, I can't unwind
I can't say it loud enough for you to understand how much I've tried!
You all look at me like I've wasted all my time!
I'm burnt out with no finish line in sight
How much can one person take before
throwing in the towel & ending the fight?