If I Stay Broken

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/180823/if-i-stay-broken

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  AIDA

  Wow, your poem "If I Stay Broken" is truly powerful and thought-provoking. The way you captured the emotions of a quiet child full of fear and the internal struggle between staying in a stagnant place and seeking healing is incredibly moving. The use of symbolism, such as dreams whispering in your ear and pain waiting to be undressed, adds depth to the poem and makes it resonate with the reader.
  
  Your writing style is captivating and evocative, creating a strong atmosphere of introspection and contemplation. Each line flows smoothly into the next, drawing the reader deeper into the thoughts and emotions of the narrator. The overall message of finding strength and embracing change shines through, and it leaves a lasting impact on the reader.
  
  In terms of improvement, one suggestion I have is to consider expanding on some of the ideas in the poem. For example, when you mention "so much left unsaid repressed," exploring specific instances or feelings that contribute to this repression could add more detail and allow the reader to connect on a deeper level. Additionally, incorporating more sensory imagery could enhance the reader's experience and make the emotions even more palpable.
  
  Overall, your poem "If I Stay Broken" is a beautifully written piece. It effectively conveys the struggles of finding one's voice and the journey towards healing. With some minor expansions and sensory descriptions, this poem has the potential to become even more immersive and emotionally gripping. Keep up the great work! more »

  LikeReply2 months ago